Avenging Heaven
by rantandrumour
Summary: Sequel to Only Scarlet Avenges Sable. In the eight months since Ryan Burns was sentenced, Alex has made immense progress, but will her recovery suffer after hearing the worst news possible?
1. Scarred

**I hadn't planned on a sequel to OSAS, but you guys asked for one, and the other day an idea came to me that made me grin... And so Avenging Heaven was born. I HAD thought that if I did write a sequel it would be just a oneshot about Alex's recovery...but I do about one happy fic a year, and my quota was met with Ares: God of War. :) Thanks to Bloo for giving me support and some really brilliant ideas. **

**Chapter 1: Scarred**

_It had been eight months. Eight months being stuck in this hell hole. All because he had been doing the Lord's will. Ryan sniffed. The righteous had to endure persecution, and this was probably just a trial set forth by God. _

_Ryan knew in his heart that the Lord wanted him to cleanse Alex Drake. She had been shown to him so many years ago on that boat, in that whore's outfit. He had made plans during his first stay in prison, when he was falsely accused of trafficking drugs, to save her soul. When his innocence was proved, he had gone forth on his mission. He had nearly succeeded. If only he had whipped her just a bit more, she may have bled out faster. _

_Ryan knew that his mission would continue until she could either prove that she was now pure or she was dead. He didn't want to kill her, but she had been so stubborn when he had tried to save her soul. She had probably gone back to her ways, whoring herself out to every man she met. He knew that the Lord would provide an opportunity for him to get out, to try and save her all over again. _

_A loud noise sounded from outside his cell. Ryan sat up, and stepped outside, looking at what was going on. Several officers were trying to push back a giant mass of prisoners. A riot. Ryan grinned. Matthew seven, verse seven. "_Ask, and it will be given to you."_ He started to run down the corridor. The Lord would always provide._

_~(*)~_

Gene stared at the woman sitting nervously at the desk out in CID and smiled softly. It was Alex's first day of work since the day she had been kidnapped over a year previously. She was strictly on desk duty, but she was back. She had been given the hero's welcome, a standing ovation from CID. Alex had merely given a nervous smile and sat down quickly, looking instantly at a file on her desk.

Gene knew that she was only just ready to come back. It had indeed been small steps she had taken over the past year. Alex still did not wear skinny jeans or skirts. She had only stopped wearing jogging bottoms or pyjama bottoms a few weeks before. The clothes she wore now were loose fitting, showing none of her figure off. The shirts she chose were like those she wore when she first arrived, buttoned up to the top button, and a little bow around the neck. A silver chain always glinted from her neck, always fitting a little too tightly.

Gene knew why it was there. He wished she didn't have to depend on the feel of the chain to feel safe out in public, but knew that it was the only way she could convince herself that she was safe. It reminded her of her collar, the only way she felt safe when imprisoned with Ryan Burns.

It had taken him a while to realise that Alex may never make a full recovery. She may never be the posh mouth tart he had fallen in love with. Every day was still another step forward in her slow progress. She had flatly refused to see a psychologist after Annie left, something that Gene thought hurt her progress.

It took her nearly three months for her to look someone in the eye after Burn's trial. Soon after that, emotion started showing in them more often. Slowly, she was letting Gene get closer to her, but she still kept a part of herself barred off, reminding him of when she had first joined CID in 1981.

They had only started sleeping in the same bed the month previously, and still had not made love. Alex was still too nervous, still too afraid of being touched. Gene could not initiate contact in public. Alex would immediately stiffen and look over her shoulder to see who was touching her. Several times she would cry with relief when she realised who it was. CID had been informed not to touch her under any circumstances, not that many people touched her before anyway.

Alex was speaking more, but she was still soft-spoken, something that Gene had never dreamed of before. She could carry on a conversation easily, would offer opinions and decide things, but did not yell and scream like she used to.

She still refused to eat. Her face was still much too thin, the hollows in her cheeks still too pronounced. Gene would chastise her gently at meals, but she still could only pick at the food presented to her. Luigi would fret over her during their meals there, asking if she needed anything different, to which Alex would simply shake her head. Alex also refused to drink much either. She refused wine point blank now, and would only drink maybe one drink a week. Gene smirked. Luigi must have lost loads of money when Alex became almost tea total.

They hardly visited Luigi's anymore, Alex preferring to stay at home, away from any men leering at her. She had only visited the flat above once, to get her things so she could move in properly. Gene still remembered the day vividly.

"_Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked uncertainly._

_Alex steeled herself and looked at him. "I have to. Facing the flat is the only way I'll be able to progress. I have to do it sometime, Gene." _

_Gene could tell from her voice that she was trying to convince herself as well as him. However, he said nothing, merely nodding and inserting the key into the lock. The door swung open wide, both standing, staring into the flat they had not looked in for so long. Gene had not been there for six months, since the day before Alex was to be released from the hospital when he had gone to collect a variety of her clothes. Alex had willingly spoken a few sentences to him, but only to ask that he not bring her any jeans, just jogging and pyjama bottoms. _

_Alex stepped cautiously into the flat, Gene following closely behind her. She moved towards her bedroom. Pausing at the door, she stared into the peach room. _

"_Exactly...like I didn't expect anything to happen," she muttered to herself. "I didn't. Just you to come barging in after I was already pissed and getting angry at me. Not that. Never expected that."_

_Gene said nothing as Alex babbled to herself. He figured it was part of the healing process, that she needed to voice things out. She kept a running commentary as she continued to tour the tiny flat, saving the loo for last. She stepped in, staring at the dark red wine stain on the floor where several shards of glass glinted in the light. _

"_I was sitting...there." She pointed at the tub. "On the side. Feeling the water. I had the wine in my hand. It was my third. Then...I woke up there," she shuddered. "I must have dropped the glass. Then he must have dragged me out."_

_She stopped for a moment, just staring at the spot, unmoving. Suddenly she turned to Gene._

"_I want to leave." Her eyes were begging him to not try and convince her to stay, to just say 'okay' and leave it at that. Gene, however, decided to push just a little bit._

"_Are you sure?" he asked. "I thought you wanted your things."_

"_I can't be here anymore, Gene. Please. Can you just get them later?" She was on the verge of tears and Gene knew that he couldn't push her anymore without her having a breakdown and going silent for a few days as she tried to deal with the torture of the past. _

"_Okay," he agreed, seeing her visibly relax. "I'll collect your things later."_

_They had gone down to Luigi's after, Gene still not used to Alex ordering merely a soda. He had returned a few weeks later to collect her things and slowly her knick-knacks were placed amongst his._

Gene watched carefully as Bammo approached her, starting to talk to her. He watched her look up and respond, smiling gently before she responded. Gene continued to watch as the conversation continued and Bammo eventually walked away.

Gene let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding. He was nervous about Alex returning to work. She had made loads of progress the eight months and he didn't want any of that to go away. It had been hard enough to see Alex terrified the first time. To see her get better and become silent and scared once more would be more than he could handle.

Gene looked down at the file on his desk and pushed it away. Alex was doing great. And nothing was going to ruin it. He would make sure of that.

Gene was distracted by his thoughts by his door opening.

"Knock," he said, without looking up, knowing who it was.

"Never gonna happen, Guv," Alex said, her voice several decibels lower than it would have been a year ago.

Gene looked up. She was smiling softly as she closed the door behind her.

"All I ask for is a few hours of peace in my office, and you have to disturb it without even a knock," he teased, making sure that a small grin was on his face and his voice was clearly in a teasing tone. Alex had started taking the smallest things as threats after her ordeal. After the first few incidents of her bursting into tears and backing away in fear, he knew that he had to adjust how he dealt with her. He couldn't yell at her like he used to. Everything had to be neutral, said with a clear facial expression so that she knew that she was going to be fine.

"Yeah, and I ask for a few hours of peace and I get stuck outside with CID," she replied.

"They're not that bad!"

"Ray keeps going on about some sawn off shotgun and Chris is in a panic, shooting Shaz anxious glances every few minutes. Shaz keeps coming over to ask me questions about her wedding and the rest keep bringing me cups of tea."

Gene had to do his best not to laugh. "They missed you, Bolls," he replied. "Missed your mad theories and your psychiatry."

"Psychology," she corrected automatically, even though she knew he only did it to wind her up.

"Right," he replied. "Same thing."

Alex said nothing, just sighed and rolled her eyes.

"How are you doing Bolls, really?" Gene asked, the room suddenly taking on a serious atmosphere.

"It's not too bad, I guess," she responded honestly. "I don't know how long I'll be able to handle desk duty though. I'm going mad just sitting there."

"You'll have to clear it with the Super. He's the one who made it clear that you were restricted to desk duty only."

Alex nodded and looked at the clock, smiling. "It's lunchtime. Can we go?"

Gene looked up at the clock, and surely enough, it was gone six. He nodded and stood, grabbing his coat. He opened the door and strode out, Alex following behind him.

"Lunchtime!" he yelled. For the first time ever, Gene was the first one to leave for 'lunch.' He strode outside and looked at Alex.

"Do you want Luigi's tonight?" he asked. "Or would you rather go home?"

"I think I've had enough of CID for one day," she said.

"Right. Let's fire up the Quattro." They got in the car and Gene drove home. "Do you want a curry?" he asked on the way. "I don't feel like making anything, and I don't feel like trying one of your concoctions." Gene had found out why she had always eaten at Luigi's several months earlier. Alex was, in fact, a terrible cook. Gene had had some experience cooking with his mum in his childhood, and made most of the meals.

Alex nodded and Gene veered off to the right, tyres squealing. Alex waited in the car as he barked orders at the man and returned several minutes later with two curries. He drove quickly home and they walked in, Alex going straight down to the couch, Gene going to grab some silverware from the kitchen. The television was on by the time he got downstairs.

This was how they spent their nights. They would spend the time in front of the television, talking occasionally. One of them would go up and make tea before the news came on and after the news, Alex would usually go to bed.

Alex came down the stairs with two mugs of tea in her hands as the opening notes to the news started. She handed Gene his tea, smiling as the camera closed in on the anchor, who had started announcing something about a prison riot.

Alex sat down, focussing her whole attention on the news.

"_...the riot was stopped after about three hours, but not before a prisoner had the chance to escape. Please be on the lookout for a man named Ryan Burns. Burns is currently serving a life sentence for..."_

Gene jumped as glass shattered on the floor. He looked over at Alex in concern. She stared at the television, unaware of the mug that she had just dropped. Her whole body had gone rigid.

"Alex," Gene said quietly.

Her head snapped over to look at him, her eyes wide with fear. "He's out, Gene." Alex started shaking as tears welled in her eyes and flowed down her cheeks. She unconsciously rubbed the scars on her hands, still pink from the nails that had been driven through.

Gene cautiously put his arms around her, letting her sob into his shirt, his hand rubbing her back soothingly.

Ryan wasn't going to get Alex. Gene would find him first. He'd make sure of that.

**to be continued**


	2. Tested

**Well, I must already thank you for the overwhelming response to the first chap! Thank you all who reviewed and added to your favourites, or story alerts, or even both! Thanks to Blue-Jackal for being amazing and helping me come up with ideas (Always ready with an idea for something to do to Alex! :P ) and for inspiring OSAS so I can write this one now :P**

**Chapter 2: Tested**

_She was fading in and out of consciousness now. Alex had no idea how long she'd been suspended in the air, hanging from the cross. After she was nailed securely, screaming through the duct tape in pain, Ryan had suspended the cross about ten feet in the air and left. Now her breast and back throbbed in unison with the searing pain that shot through her arms and legs with every breath she inhaled. She had been standing too long. She wanted to sit, but if she even tried the nails he had put on the steps dug into her back, the heads cutting against the marks from the whip. _

_The warehouse had faded to darkness a long time ago. Alex looked out of the window of the warehouse, staring at the moon. It lit the warehouse in its silver light, illuminating her brightly. From the shadows, she heard the sound of a footstep. She tried to turn and look, but could not move. A dark figure stepped into the moonlight, staring up at her. _

"_Animal," the figure whispered. Alex felt tears escape from her eyes. It was him. Ryan stared up at her, a grin on his face._

"_It's all over, Animal," he said happily. "You're pure again. You'll join him in paradise. I've saved your soul."_

_The sound of other voices reached her ears. Alex tried to scream, but no sound emerged from her throat. She was too weak to even make a noise. Her eyes were growing heavier and heavier. Alex looked down at the ground once more where Burns stood happily, streaks of her blood running down his face._

"_Only scarlet avenges sable," he whispered._

"_Alex!" She heard a voice call her name from a distance. Alex turned her head, but could not figure out where the voice was coming from. It seemed to be coming from all around her._

"_Alex!" The voice called her again. Alex decided to try and scream again, to get the person to find her._

"ALEX!" Alex's eyes snapped open. Gene was next to her, his expression relieved.

"I've been trying to wake you up for five bloody minutes. You wouldn't stop screaming. Nightmare?"

Alex nodded miserably. Since Ryan Burns had escaped from prison nearly a month ago, her nightmares had returned. She had gone nearly two months without them before he had escaped, and she had started to hope that they were gone for good. Now however, they were worse than ever, each night getting more and more vivid.

Alex refused to let them get to her. She knew that if she did, she'd end up exactly like she was when she was released from the hospital so many months before. She couldn't ruin the progress she had made. Yet every day that Burns evaded capture was another day the fear continued to build in her stomach. How long, Alex wondered, until the fear would overtake her again? She and Gene both knew that Burns was just biding his time until he was forgotten about.

They both knew that he liked to plan. He had admitted to planning her capture and cleansing for the two years he had spent in prison before. As long as he was safe, what was to stop him from planning another three or four months, or even years?

Burns may be a religious nutter, but he was smart. He had evaded Gene easily for six weeks, making sure each CID member fell into his trap. He knew their weaknesses in and out, from Alex's former love of wine, to Gene's need to return to a crime scene where nothing had been found.

He was also dedicated. Alex knew that by surviving she had not been properly 'saved' in his mind. She knew that he escaped to 'save' her again. And he would stop at nothing. Whoever stood in his way, he would kill.

"Bolls?" Gene's voice asked sleepily. He was already dozing off again. Alex didn't blame him. This was the fourth time in a week that she had woken him up in the middle of the night. It was a miracle he could function during the day.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she responded. "Go back to sleep Gene. I'm gonna go down and make some tea."

Gene mumbled something incoherently and buried his face in his pillow, snoring before Alex even made it out the door.

~(*)~

_Ryan looked at the house, smiling widely. The finishing touches were being put on it. It was almost ready for his Animal once more. He'd hide her here, away from all the cops of London. That was the fault of his plan the year previously. He had thought London was large enough to hide someone, but obviously, she had been too close. If he had hidden her here in the first place, he could have had all the time in the world. And he wouldn't have had to be so concerned about noise. She could have screamed at the top of her lungs and no one would have heard her. _

_Ryan shook his head. The 'what ifs' had struck once more. He couldn't waste his time on those. Obviously he had acted too soon and the Lord had intervened with the appropriate punishment for him. Now he was ready._

_Ryan pushed his long hair out of his face. He had not cut it since the trial. The Lord had told him to take the vow of the Nazirite. He could not cut his hair until his mission was complete. _

_Ryan had let his beard grow as well. If the first half of the mission was successful, getting Animal back, then he could shave his beard. He knew he was almost unrecognisable now. Along with growing out his hair, he had stolen hair dye his first day and dyed his hair black. _

_Ryan smiled. They could be searching for him for years and never find him. He put his long hair up, out of his face and went out to the barn. It was almost ready for Animal's stay. It was time to initiate contact. _

_~(*)~_

Alex stirred her tea, listening to Gene's snores coming faintly from upstairs, trying not to be annoyed with his ability to sleep. The first few nights he had stayed up with her, being worried, but as the days progressed and her nightmares continued he had started to go back to sleep. Alex didn't blame him. She could hardly deal with only three or four hours of sleep a night and then work the next day. She couldn't expect him to deal with it too.

Alex knew as well as Gene that all progress had come to a halt as soon as Burns had been released. The only reason she and Gene had not made love yet was because she was afraid of what Ryan would do when...if...he found out. It would be bad enough if he found out they were sleeping in the same bed. To be having sex out of wedlock...Well that was one of the reasons she had the scars on her hands and feet.

Alex unconsciously rubbed her fingers over the marks. What would Ryan do if he found her? Would he hang her right away? Or would he make her suffer in imprisonment once more? Would she be degraded, her basic needs taken away from her? Would the collar be placed around her neck once more, making her feel like the animal he told her she was?

She shivered as she remembered the many 'obedience lessons' she had received over the course of six weeks. Each one took a little more of her hope away, stole a little more of her fight, until finally she did nothing but cry silently and hope to die during and after the lesson. They always ended the same way, until the final one. She would curl up in a ball and he would stroke her cheek gently, telling her that it was all for the better.

Alex laughed humourlessly. They wondered why she didn't want to be touched. The only touch she had felt for six long weeks had been angry, spiteful, even when it was gentle. If she was being touched, she was usually in trouble for something.

Suddenly, Gene's snores stopped. Alex looked at the clock. She had been lost in her own thoughts for nearly four hours. Gene padded downstairs to the kitchen, looking sleep-ruffled and bleary eyed. He stifled a yawn as he shuffled in the kitchen, placing a light kiss on the top of her head.

"Did you sleep alright?" she asked.

"Slept fine," he mumbled. He was always terrible with conversation until he had at least one sugar loaded coffee. Somewhere he had upped to nine sugars, making his coffee almost syrupy. As he was spooning more sugar into his already sweetened cup, he looked at her.

"You been up since?"

Alex merely nodded. It was a silent acknowledgement of the plateau they both knew she hit.

"You think you're awake enough to..."

"Yes," Alex interrupted. She couldn't stay here by herself. Not with Burns on the loose.

Gene merely nodded. "I'll let you shower first then, Lady Bolls."

~(*)~

"We all know it's him! Let's just charge the bastard and throw him in a cell!"

"Guv," Alex sighed. "We've got no evidence that he did it. We can't charge him with no evidence."

Gene opened his mouth to speak, but Alex continued as if she didn't see him.

"Gut instinct does _not_ count as evidence anymore, Guv. You should know that by now."

Gene set his face into a pout.

"You know he did it? Find evidence. And _then_ charge him."

"He'll bugger off before then Bolly! God, sometimes its a wonder how you became a copper for all the common sense you have!"

Alex stared at him. "I've got no common sense?" she asked icily.

"Well, who locked us in a vault at Edgehampton?"

"_They would have found us!"_ she hissed.

"Yes, and they would have found our dead bodies if Chris and Ray hadn't done something right for once," Gene replied, looking smug.

Alex opened her mouth to reply, but Gene cut her off just like she had only moments before.

"Terry!" he yelled. "Let's hold him for a while. See if I can't find anything more I want to ask him."

"But Guv, you haven't charged him!" Alex protested.

"I can hold him for extra questioning, DI Drake. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to search his flat for the evidence you desire!"

"I'll go with you!" Alex was desperate to get away from her desk.

"No," Gene said firmly. "You're not cleared for anything but desk duty, Alex. You know as well as I do that you're not ready."

Alex started to argue, but thought better of it and huffed to her seat. She knew he was right, and she hated him for it. She wanted to be back out on the streets. She hated the endless hours of paperwork. What was worse was that she didn't even have Shaz to talk to very much anymore. Gene was taking Shaz out in her place, getting her experience before her eventual promotion to DC.

Alex watched jealously as Shaz, Ray and Chris all filed out after Gene. How was she supposed to do all this paperwork? She couldn't sit still for more than half an hour straight.

She sighed, resigning herself to sorting through different files the rest of the day. As she looked down, she saw an envelope sitting on her desk. Her name was written in a neat loopy handwriting. Curious, she opened it. As soon as she saw the first word, she wished she hadn't.

_Animal,_

_I went to your flat last night. You weren't there. I can only assume you've moved in with the man you were whoring yourself out to. You know the reason why I have sent this. You're not saved yet, Animal. You haven't repented. The Lord released me from prison to save your soul, just like he promised he would. _

_You need to do something. Tonight, go to Luigi's. Leave between 22.00 and 22.15. If you don't, I consider that disobedience, Animal. You can bring your precious Gene if it makes you feel better, but you do not have to worry tonight. Not quite everything is ready. _

_Also. Do not tell anyone about this letter. That includes Gene. Again, I shall consider that disobedience and when we are together again, I will have to punish you for it._

_Be good now._

_Master_

Alex set the letter down, her hands shaking. This was it. He had finally made contact. The question was now, what was she going to do?

~(*)~

_He sat around the corner from the wine bar. Ryan checked his watch. 22.10. She had five minutes to leave. Ryan continued to watch the seconds tick away, until finally, at 22.14, he saw the red Quattro start down the street. _

_Ryan smiled. She was being obedient. Good. _

_

* * *

_A/N: A Nazirite vow was when a Jew refused to cut his hair for a certain amount of time as a promise to the Lord. The most famous of these people is Samson, the man who had superhuman strength until Delilah, a Philistine cut his hair off while he was sleeping. He spent the rest of his days in captivity, dying with his enemies when he knocked over two pillars just by pushing on them after praying to the Lord to return his strength. The whole story can be found in Judges 16.

* * *

**To Be Continued**_  
_


	3. Repetition

**Thank you for all for faving, adding to story alerts and reviewing! And thanks to Blue-Jackal for being my plot buddy!**

**Chapter 3: Repetition  
**

_He had been watching her for weeks. Ryan pulled the van up outside their house and smiled. It was time._

~(*)~

Alex woke slowly, squinting at the sunlight in her eyes. Still feeling weak and tired, she shuffled into the toilet. She wasn't feeling well earlier that morning and Gene had told her not to go to work.

"Make sure you keep all the doors locked. I'll be over at noon to check on you."

Alex stared in the mirror at herself, hating the face that looked back at her. It was much too thin, the hollows in her cheeks too pronounced. The amazing figure she had always prided herself on was now gaunt, almost emaciated. She hardly ate anything anymore.

Alex was frustrated at herself. Why was she letting Ryan control her like he was? He had sent a few letters, sure, but he wasn't going to get her. She had let him control her for the eight months he was in prison, and now that he was out, she was letting him control her more.

She knew that Gene was worried about her and wondered how long it would be before he forced her to see someone. Alex had flatly refused any help since Annie left, convinced that she could defeat the fear herself. She was a psychologist after all. She knew how to take care of other people, why not herself?

"_Animals can't take care of themselves." _Ryan's voice rang clear in her head. _"They need humans to take care of them."_

No. She was letting him win. Alex knew that she had to fight to win this battle she'd been waging for over a year. So many times she had let the enemy run over her defences, let Ryan trample her spirit, longed for death.

Alex knew what she had to do. She had to find the will to live.

Gene. Gene had breathed new life in her after Ryan left her so broken. Gene continued to help her patiently even though she had regressed. It was for Gene that she had fought during her imprisonment in the flat.

Alex unbuttoned her pyjama top, diverting her eyes from the scar on her breast and looking at the ribs that showed so clearly through her skin. What must Gene think when he looked at her? Was he repulsed? She knew she no longer had the figure that he fell in love with.

Alex breathed deeply. Stripping herself, she started the shower, letting the hot water beat against her skull in a soothing rhythm. She had to get better for Gene. Alex knew it was torture for him to sleep next to her every night, restricted to merely kissing her cheek or the top of her head. How had he stuck with her for this long?

Alex felt an immediate surge of gratitude. He could have buggered off long ago, but he had stuck around and made sure she had gotten better. The least she could do would be to eat something.

Alex stepped out of the shower, wrapping a dressing gown around her. She stepped out into their bedroom and got dressed, moving back into the toilet to do her hair and makeup. Once that was done, she moved downstairs to the kitchen. She searched through the cabinets for something light, only finding several tins of beans. Alex opened the fridge and spied a carton of eggs.

Toast and eggs. She may not be the best cook in the world, but she could whip up a small batch of scrambled eggs easily. Alex had vague memories of doing this for someone a long time ago. She couldn't recall the girl's name, only that Alex had had a fondness for her like a mother would a daughter.

As the egg heated up, the smell started to permeate the room. Alex knew at one point in time, her stomach would be growling in anticipation, but now she could hardly keep from gagging. She knew she would have to force it down, but if she could keep it down, it would be progress.

Alex sprinkled cheese over her eggs, something she vaguely recalled that she liked. She put them on a plate and sat down at the table, staring at the food.

_C'mon, Alex, _she thought. _You made it yourself. No one's forcing you to eat it. It's ten bites, max. _

Continuing to encourage herself silently, she lifted the fork to her mouth, hand shaking. Alex chewed the egg, trying to overcome the urge to spit it back out. Finally, she swallowed, feeling immensely proud of herself. It was the first time since her imprisonment that no one had encouraged her to eat.

_Ryan doesn't own you. He doesn't decide whether you eat or not. You do, _she thought to herself.

Alex finished the egg and looked down at her cleaned plate, amazed. It had only been about ten bites, yes, but no one had told her to eat it. It was a huge step, especially since even Gene had not been able persuade her to eat over the past month.

Alex walked back to the toilet, staring at her reflection in the mirror again. She knew it hadn't, but somehow it seemed it had changed in the half hour that she had eaten. Alex then realised what it was. Her eyes. They looked confident.

Alex swept her eyes over her whole body, stopping when she reached the silver chain she wore around her neck. She put her hand up to it, fingering the cool metal. It was her constant reminder that she was safe. But did she want it there? The chain being there only signified that Ryan still owned her.

Breathing heavily in fear and anticipation, she raised her shaking hands to the clasp of the necklace, undoing it. She pulled it in front of her and stared at it.

"You don't own me," she whispered. She threw it into the rubbish bin, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Progress. She was making progress again. The last month had been a plateau, but she had started again, and she was going in leaps and bounds.

Alex jumped as the phone rang. She picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Bolly?"

Alex smiled. "Gene. What's going on?"

"I rang to check up on you. Are you doing okay? Feeling better?"

Alex grinned wider. She loved a concerned Gene.

"I'm doing fine, Gene," she responded. "I showered and had some breakfast and I'm gonna come in, if that's okay with you."

There was silence on the other end.

"Gene?"

"You ate?" he asked slowly, disbelievingly.

"I made myself some eggs," Alex responded.

There was silence again as Gene digested the information.

"So is it okay if I come in?" Alex asked.

"Wha...? Err, yeah. Come on in," Gene stumbled. "I'll see you in a little bit Bolly."

The other end clicked before Alex could respond. She nearly laughed. Gene was in shock, something that didn't happen too often. How would he respond if he saw that the chain was off her neck?

Smiling, Alex grabbed her jacket off the hook and opened the front door. It took her every ounce of self control not to scream as the door swung wide.

Ryan Burns was standing on the step, a grin on his face and a knife in one hand. "Hello Animal," he said, before advancing on her, knife held high.

~(*)~

Gene sat in his office, staring at his phone in complete disbelief. What had happened between this morning and five minutes ago?

When he had left that morning, Alex had been crawling back into bed, her pyjamas swamping her more than usual. Her cheekbones were more pronounced and he tried to ignore how the skin was stretching tighter and tighter over her shoulders and ribs.

For the past two weeks he could tell something more than just Ryan Burns escaping was eating away at her. She would only sleep an hour or two a night and she refused to eat at all. It had gotten so bad that Gene was considering calling Annie again. She had helped Alex loads the first time.

Gene had decided he was going to go home at lunch and try to make her eat. If she still refused, he was going to call Annie.

But she had eaten. She told him she had eaten. Gene was anxious to talk to her, to ask her what had happened. He waited impatiently for her to arrive, getting more and more nervous as the seconds ticked away. She should have been here by now. She said she had showered before he talked to her. He knew that she did her hair immediately after getting out of the shower. So there was no reason that she should be taking this long.

Gene calmed himself and decided to ring her. She may have just changed her mind and forgot to phone him. Gene dialled his number and listened as the phone rang and rang. Finally hanging up, he stood, grabbing his jacket. He was going to check the house before raising a panic.

"Ray," Gene said shortly. "Bolly's not answering. I'm going to check on her. If she comes in, let me know on my radio, okay?"

Gene tried to ignore the widening of Ray's eyes and the uncertainty of his tone as he replied "Sure, Guv. No problem."

Sweeping out of CID, Gene hurriedly made his way to his Quattro. He should have never left her home alone this morning. Gene raced through the streets, his heart pounding the whole way to his house, trying to convince himself that when he got there, she'd simply be sleeping on the couch, blissfully unaware of the fact that he had raced home to check on her.

The Quattro screeched in front of his house and Gene knew immediately that something was wrong. The door was shut tight, but there was an aura of doom around the house. Gene stepped out of the Quattro, and his fears were instantly confirmed. A trail of blood droplets ran out of the house and down the path to the street.

Afraid of what he might find inside, Gene slowly made his way to the door. He turned the handle, and the door swung in easily. Just like when Ryan had taken her the year before, things registered in pieces.

One: There was no body, but there was a massive amount of blood on the floor.

Two: A knife lay on the ground next to the blood puddle.

Three: There were signs of a struggle.

Alex was missing again. And this time, it didn't look good.

Gene realised that the phone was ringing. He walked numbly over to the phone. "Hello?" he answered.

"Hunt."

"Burns," he growled. "What have you done with her?"

"_She struggled, Hunt. But she knew that she was an animal."_

"What did you do to her?" he roared.

"_I'd check the Thames, Hunt. Maybe you'll get some answers there." _

Gene slammed the phone down, his heart pounding. Reaching the Quattro, he picked up his radio.

"Ray! Ray!"

"_Yeah, Guv?"_

"Burns has her." Gene could almost see Ray swearing before he responded.

"_How d'you know Guv?"_

"Because there's a great pile of blood in my house and he just rang me! It hasn't been our responsibility, but now it is. _Find Burns._"

"_Yes, Guv."_

Gene tossed the radio on the passenger seat, racing straight to the Thames. He parked in the middle of the street, jumping over the wall onto the bank looking up and down the river for anything that might give him a sight of her. Burns should have taken her to where he could reach the Thames the fastest from Gene's house, and this was it.

Gene walked up and down the bank, searching for any sign of either Burns or Alex.

In the distance, he saw something white floating toward him. It looked out of place amongst the steely grey of the water. Gene watched as it floated closer, by some miracle floating toward the bank he was on. It floated within arm's reach, and Gene pulled it out of the river, knowing immediately what it was.

Alex's leather jacket, soaking wet and drenched in her blood was what he clutched in his hand. Not allowing himself to believe the obvious, he reached into the inside pocket of the jacket, putting his palm around a little wallet about the size of a warrant card. His heart sunk as he pulled it out and opened it.

Alex's photo stared back at him. She was gone, lost in the river, just like Sam.

**to be continued**


	4. Anguish

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews. I understand this may seem repetitive, but I'm only setting up the story. Things will change a bit after this chap. **

**Thanks to bloo, for plotting with me  
**

**Chapter 4: Anguish**

He stared at the plate in the sink, unable to do anything else. Forensics had left his house a mess of black powder, but things were mostly untouched. There was a dark red stain that had soaked its way into the floor and things were hanging awkwardly from the wall where Alex had seemingly struggled with Burns.

Gene had walked all around the house, stopping when he noticed the plate in the sink. He'd stood there for almost ten minutes. She was telling him the truth that day. She had actually eaten. He hadn't had to chastise her about it. The plateau she had hit was ending.

But now she was dead. They had searched the river for two days straight but a body hadn't been found. Gene had been through this with Sam before and knew that there was nothing to do now but wait until a body turned up on the bank of the Thames. But that might never happen. Burns could have weighed Alex down with something, and even as they searched, her body could have been sinking into the mud far below the water.

Gene shook his head. He was having too many dreams about that at night to be thinking about it during the day.

He was on leave from work. It was the first time ever that he had taken it, and had surprised the whole station. He didn't care. Alex was gone. There was no reason to go back to that place. He remembered the conversation they had had the year previously, when they were both captured by Burns.

"_Sometimes it feels like dying's the only way out."_

"_It's not. CID'll find you." _

_Alex looked down at the floor, playing with the collar silently. She stood and stared directly into Gene's eyes. _

"_I trust you, Gene, but I just can't believe you this time. I'm sorry." Her fingers ran through his hair. "It'll be better for me to just die. It'll be better for everyone."_

"_Don't say that, Alex," Gene protested vehemently. "No one's better off if you die." _

_She smiled disbelievingly at him._

"_I mean it. If you die, Bolly..." Gene swallowed, trying to get the words out. "If you die...I've got nothing left to fight for."_

And it was true. Alex was the last thing that kept him rooted to this world. She was his anchor. Without her, he felt adrift. She understood him like no one else ever had or ever could.

Gene sank into his sofa, staring around the room. Alex's trinkets were everywhere. Slowly she had made her presence known in the house, even if she hardly spoke. She had added a feminine touch to the house, making it into a home. Gene stared at a photo from their birthday. He had always found it ironic that they shared the same birthday and 10 February, 1984 was no exception.

Gene had taken her out to dinner that night. She was still hardly eating anything, and he knew that she was uncomfortable dressing up and showing the world how truly scrawny she'd become. Nevertheless, they'd enjoyed themselves, going to meet up with the team afterwards for a drink. It was then that Shaz had snapped this photo. When it was given to Gene later on that month at work, he'd brought it home, showing it to Alex. Alex had stared at it for a while, and then left, photo in hand for several minutes. When she had come back, it was already framed. She looked at him, embarrassed, explaining that she liked it. She didn't know what it was, but she did.

Gene had looked at it later and realised what it was. For the first time since she had been found, Alex looked happy.

Gene stood suddenly, going to a cupboard and removing several boxes. Slowly, he began to pack Alex's things away. He couldn't look at them anymore. They made him feel even guiltier than he had before. He should have never left her alone. He should have sent Shaz. But now, she was dead. Nothing could bring her back anymore.

Gene wandered upstairs, slowly putting things in the box that were hers. He went into the toilet, and took her shampoo. Opening the bottle, he smelled it, imagining Alex's hair beneath his nose.

Gene capped the bottle. He was going poofy now. He was smelling shampoo for Christ's sake. He threw it in the box, continuing to stow away the soap she used, her jewellery, her makeup.

As he put the latter into the box, a small brush fell out and clattered on the floor next to the rubbish bin. Gene knelt down to pick it up, stopping, staring into the rubbish bin. On top of the rubbish inside, there was a silver chain, glinting in the light.

Gene reached in and pulled the chain out carefully, as though it might explode in his hands. She had taken off the chain around her neck. She had been moving on.

Gene swallowed a lump in his throat, sitting down against the wall, staring into her box of items. By putting these things away, he was putting away Bolly forever. He was putting away all forms of her, the stuck up, cold Bollinger Knickers, the softer, kinder Bolly, the scared Alex, the recovering woman that was a mix of all three. But most of all, he was putting away Alex Bollinger Knickers Bolly Kecks Bolly Bolls Drakey Drake, the woman that he had loved since the first day she had literally collapsed into his life.

Gene shook his head angrily. Why was he doing this? He couldn't just throw Alex out of his life. She was his anchor, he had been her constant. They had kept each other grounded. By driving him mad, she had kept him sane.

Gene stood, taking the box into the bedroom, the last place he had to clean of her things. He started with her bedside table. The top of it was mostly cleaned off, her normal daily items like a watch were on her when Ryan kidnapped her and threw her into the river. Gene instead opened the drawer, where she kept some of her books and other things that were precious to her. Gene started stowing the books away, when suddenly, out of one, a stack of letters fell out. Gene looked at the stack, there were ten in all. They were all in the same envelope, all with just her first name written on it in the same neat, loopy handwriting. Gene pulled the first one out of the envelope. What were they? Letters from someone she loved? Gene knew that wasn't the case as soon as he read the first line.

_Animal,_

_I am very happy with you right now. I have heard nothing from Hunt or his men. You must be keeping these quiet. Good. _

_It's almost ready, Animal. The Lord has demanded that I truly save your soul. Being crucified got you close, but not close enough. When the Lord provides us with the opportunity, Animal, we will save your soul, together. _

_You're being very good._

_Master_

Gene's hands were shaking as he finished the note. Ripping the next note from the envelope, he read it. It was much like the first one.

Five minutes later, Gene was scarlet with rage. All the letters had said the same thing in different words. This was why she had hit the plateau, why she had started to regress. The contact from Burns had made her more fearful than she had been before.

The question was, what had happened to make her take off the necklace that day? What had happened to make her decide to eat?

Gene looked down at the box that was now overflowing. He reached to the bottom, digging out the photo of them from their birthdays again, staring at it.

He couldn't cut the memory of her out of his life completely. He knew that. He had tried to do that with Sam. Moving down to London was him trying to remove the most painful memories from himself. He hadn't succeeded at all until Alex came along.

Slowly she helped him forget his depression, infuriating him and making him love her. Now she was gone. Who was going to help him now? There was no way he'd even get near that woman Liz anymore. Not after the night he had drunkenly slept with her.

Gene knew only one person that could help him with a loss like this. Only one person he knew had gone through it before. He stood, picking up the box and putting it downstairs in the cupboard, hidden from sight. Even as he did it, he felt like he was trying to throw Alex out.

Ignoring the niggling feeling of guilt in his head, Gene walked over to the phone. Taking a deep breath, he picked it up, and dialled a number.

"Annie," he said. "I need your help."

~(*)~

"Now that Gene's gone, we'll get some proper work done."

CID said nothing, all preferring to look at Jim Keats with varying features of rage. It was only natural. For the past few years, Keats had been doing anything he could to get Gene out of the saddle of CID. He had nearly killed the Ma'am the year previously.

Needless to say, Keats was having problems getting CID to function for him.

"Ray," he called. "My office!"

Ray got up, his eyes plainly showing that he'd like nothing better than to throttle the imposter. He ignored this, smiling widely as Ray shut the door.

"Raymond," Keats began seriously. "We have an issue."

"What's that?" Ray asked.

"What's that, _sir," _Jim corrected. "CID doesn't seem to be performing up to standards."

"It's been a bit of a rough time for them," Ray responded coldly. "Their DI just died, and the Guv is on leave."

"But they can't let that affect their jobs, Ray. One day Hunt will leave this station, most likely sooner rather than later."

"I can tell you this, _sir,_" Ray responded, spitting out the 'sir' sarcastically. "If you even dare remove the Guv, one by one this station will leave. And you may want that, but realise this. Each man that leaves will hold a grudge against you for getting rid of the Guv. There's at least twenty people in this CID. And I can guarantee you that one of them is not totally 'white' as they say. He'll rub elbows with one of his mates, and you'll be gone."

"You know of someone who's corrupt?" Keats questioned sharply.

"No. I just know that not everyone is who they appear to be on the outside. Alex taught me that."

"Her death is regrettable..."

"No," Ray said, getting louder. "Her death isn't _regrettable._ It's bloody _wrong_, sir. She shouldn't be dead. And no one in that room out there has forgotten that you tried to get her to give up last year. Let me give you some advice, _sir._ I'd get out. Stop trying to be our new Guv. Because I can guarantee you that it won't end well if you stay."

"Are you threatening me, DI Carling?"

"No sir," Ray said smoothly, moving toward the door. "I'm just telling the God –honest truth. Now, if you excuse me, I have to follow a lead."

Ray walked out, his heart pounding. He had never been that insolent to anyone before, except Sam. It didn't matter though. One way or another, Keats would have to go.

Ignoring everyone in CID, he walked out the door of the station to one of the pool cars. Ray hopped in, going straight to the Guv's house to talk to him. However, he only slowed and pulled past the house as he saw the Guv opening up the door to a brunette haired woman. Ray would recognise her anywhere.

The Guv had rung Annie. It was then that Ray knew how hard he was really taking it. To ring Annie, the Guv would have had to lay down most of his pride and dignity.

Ray didn't bother to stop, instead going to the river where the Guv had found Alex's jacket. He did nothing, simply sitting on the bank, staring into the water.

Alex had repaired the mess that the Guv was after Sam had died. If Annie left, who was going to take care of him now?

**to be continued**


	5. Hope

**To all of you who review, thank you so much. They really cheer me up when I'm having a bad day. Thank you to those who read and add to their favs or alerts as well. That cheers me up too.**

**Thank you X1000 to Blue_Jackal, who is an amazing plot buddy and in general is pretty much awesomazing to talk to, especially on a bad day. **

**This chap is dedicated to her for that reason.  
**

**Chapter 5: Hope**

Michael Hargreaves walked down the hill, not caring if he was off school property. If someone was looking for him, Peter would know where he went. Whenever things got too much, Michael would always go to the same place. He'd hide in the bushes by The Ridgeway watching the cars go by, watching the people in them experience the freedom he wasn't allowed.

A transit van was coming down the road. This was nothing unusual, but it was slowing down, which was. Suddenly the van pulled off to the side of the road. The driver of the van, a man with long black hair and an overgrown beard, jumped out angrily.

Michael's hair stood up on end. There was a dark presence around this man, a feel that he didn't like at all. He shrunk further back into the trees, making sure that he could see the man and the van, but the man couldn't see him.

The man hit the side of the van, nearly causing a dent, and moved to the back, opening the door slowly. He opened it mere inches before slipping inside. Michael knew he had to be keeping something alive in there or he wouldn't have been so careful opening the door. The question was, what was it? Was it some sort of animal?

The door started to close, but not before Michael heard the sound of a woman's voice. Michael was intrigued. There was clearly a woman trapped in the back. She was most likely being held against her will. He waited pensively, not even blinking for fear of missing something.

The door opened quickly, and the man jumped out. This time however, he swung the door open wide. The woman's voice did not emerge as the man clambered out. Had Michael just imagined her?

The man looked back toward where Michael was hidden in the bushes. He shrunk back, but the man returned to the driver's seat, pulling back on the road. As the van disappeared down the road, he realised that the man's face was different when he emerged. A streak of blood stretched across his forehead, and it had looked fresh. Had he killed her?

He considered calling the police. But would they believe him? He was nothing but a fourteen-year-old who liked to cut classes and defy authority.

"Michael!" a voice yelled at him. He turned around. Peter Sullivan was coming down the hill, his blonde hair shining gold in the light.

Michael and Peter were like night and day. Peter was outgoing and amiable, with blonde hair and clear blue eyes. Michael was more reserved, having moods at times as black as his hair. Most people tried to avoid him, but Peter was different. When Michael had started attending the school, Peter picked him out of everyone and stuck by him. And Michael knew that he owed Peter for that.

"Michael," Peter repeated, closer to him now. "McNulty's on the rampage looking for you. You know he hates it when you skive off his class."

"I don't care," Michael replied, staring at the spot where the transit van had sat.

"What's going on? You're more distracted than usual."

"I'll tell you, but you can't take the piss."

Peter held his hands up in surrender and Michael dove into the story. When he had finished, Peter looked at him curiously.

"Are you sure you didn't imagine the voice?"

"I know I didn't."

"Weird. Listen. Just leave it for now. You've got bigger things to worry about right now. For example, McNulty."

Michael looked down at the ground. "Alright. How many detentions do you think I'll get now?"

And with that they walked back up to St John's Senior School, the transit van all but forgotten about.

~(*)~

Gene stared into his whiskey glass sombrely. "I _can't _do it anymore Annie. I can't take everyone dying on me."

"I know its difficult, Gene, but you can't give up on everything," Annie responded soothingly. "What would Alex want you to do?"

"What would she want me to do? Well, we didn't really plan on her being murdered and thrown in the river, so we didn't really discuss it," he replied sarcastically. "Good God, she only started carrying on normal conversations a few months ago. I didn't really think to ask her what she'd want me to do if Ryan ever burst out of prison and went after her again!"

"Gene, calm down," Annie replied, unfazed by his response. "I know you didn't talk about this. My point is, you know how she'd react in situations, how would she react if it were you?"

"I don't know," Gene responded quietly. "A year and a half ago, I could have told you easily how she'd react. But not now. Not this new Alex. I'm still getting to know her. _Was_ still getting to know her."

Annie started to speak, but Gene cut her off before she was able to get more than a syllable out.

"Don't even bother to ask me what the old Alex would have done. I don't want to even think about it."

"Gene you have to get this out!"

"Get it out?" he roared. "You want me to get it out? Fine! You know what the old Alex would have done? She would have gotten pissed, drank whiskey with sleeping pills for several days and then gone after the man who'd killed me. And you know what the new one would do? She'd sit and quake in fear. And because you're going to tell me to do what old Alex would have done, without the whiskey and sleeping pills, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm gonna get out of this country once and for all. I'm going to Spain. I've had it here."

Gene stood, ready to stomp towards the door. Annie stood with him and held her hand out calmly.

"What if she's still out there, Gene? What if she _is_ still alive? What would happen to her whilst you were in Spain?"

He shook his head. "If she's still alive, if she's really with Ryan, she's better off dead," he said solemnly. "We both know what happened to her the first time she was there, Annie. She only just ate her first meal without any coaxing a few days ago. It's been over a year since she was kidnapped. It took her months to be able to talk at all. Annie, if he has her..." Gene fell silent, swallowing a lump that suddenly formed in his throat. "If he has her, and we rescue her, she'll be just like she was the day of his trial, if not worse. I can't go through that again. _She _can't. No one's that strong Annie. Not even Bolly."

Annie stared at Gene. "The longer you wait to find her," she said firmly, "the worse she'll be when you do. Now, CID's been without their Guv for nearly a week. Are you going back tomorrow, Gene? Are you going to try and do something? Or are you going to wallow in misery?"

"Annie, you know there's nothing to find! Unless I go dig in the mud of the Thames, I'm not going to find her! She's just like Sam!"

Annie visibly winced, and Gene immediately regretted what he said. Nevertheless, she brushed it off and continued like Gene had just hurt her immensely.

"The circumstances are completely different," she said quietly. "Sam was definitely in the car when it went over. The windscreen was smashed, showing that he probably flew out as his seatbelt wasn't done for once. There's nothing like that with Alex. Just her warrant card and a jacket."

"With blood."

"Her blood?"

"Yes. I had forensics check."

"You have no proof the blood is from the chest," Annie pointed out.

"There's a bloodstain right over where her heart would be."

In spite of herself, Annie smiled.

"What's so funny about this?" Gene demanded.

"You. You're taking the immediate picture as fact. You haven't looked at the details."

"What?" Gene asked, not understanding.

"Let's put it this way," Annie replied kindly. "Remember that factory you and Sam investigated? Where the belt snapped and killed the worker?"

Gene nodded, completely attentive.

"What was your initial thought?"

"That it was murder."

"Exactly! And if you had never investigated, you would have never found out otherwise."

"I don't get how it works with Alex."

"The blood stain. Who's to say it's from the chest? What if he stabbed her...I don't know... In the arm and she held the jacket up to stop the bleeding?"

"What about the big puddle of blood?"

"Was that tested as well?"

Gene merely nodded, staring at Annie, challenging her to come up with a reason for it.

"He may have cut deep," she said, thinking. "And then he struggled to get her to the ground so that she'd bleed all over, making you think that it was a major wound. After he took her away, she may have tried to stop the bleeding with her jacket."

"But what does this prove? We don't know where he is and it's been days! Even if he didn't toss her into the river that day, he's probably killed her already!"

Annie glared at him, standing. "Right. I've got an idea. Why don't you phone me when Gene Hunt comes back? When you've stopped being a useless wanker who doesn't care whether or not the love of his life may still be alive or not? Yeah. Just ring me when that happens. I'll be down at the station, taking care of _your_ department."

With that she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Gene said nothing, staring back down at the scotch in his hand, guilt washing over him in waves. What if Alex was alive and he'd shot down every idea Annie threw at him?

No, he decided. Annie was just being unrealistic. That was all. Alex was dead, just like Sam. Her body hadn't been found, and it never would be.

Haud spes. No hope.

~(*)~

Ryan grabbed the shovel from the back of the van, grinning. The decoy had worked perfectly. He had stolen a newspaper from a rubbish bin, finding it to be dated from a few days previously. The headline had blared out at him.

_Search Called Off For Missing Officer_

_The search was called off today for Met officer Detective Inspector Alex Drake. Police have been searching the River Thames for the past few days after Drake's jacket was found on the bank. No body has been found. Drake is presumed dead. _

_Police are on the lookout for a man named Ryan Burns, believed to be the man who abducted her. Burns escaped from Her Majesty's Prison Wormwood Scrubs earlier this year, and has been on the run since. He was serving a life sentence for the rape, kidnap, and attempted murder of Inspector Drake._

_Police are not sure..._

_See Missing Officer, Page 3._

It was then that he knew he was safe. No one was looking for the animal anymore. Still, he had to work in the dead of night, as he was still on the run. Even with his dyed hair and fully grown beard, he was worried about being identified.

Not before his mission was done, he promised himself.

Ryan finished digging the hole, smiling in satisfaction. It was a few feet deep, but long enough to hold the body.

He walked over to the transit van, grunting as he dragged the body out of the van. He threw it in the grave unceremoniously and started shovelling the dirt back in. He had chosen this spot because it was surrounded by trees. The possibility of someone walking by and seeing the freshly dug grave was slim. No, by the time the body was found, it would long since be deteriorated to bones.

With a final grunt, Ryan threw the last shovelful of dirt on the grave. Even though it was a cool night, he was drenched in sweat. He had been working for several hours now.

Ryan threw the shovel back into the van, pleased with the nights work. He refused to feel guilty. He started to drive away, still smiling.

_It deserves a shallow grave._

**to be continued**


	6. Discovery

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed last chap! And of course to Bloo for being Bloo**

**Chapter 6: Discovery**

Michael moved along the field, brooding once more. It wasn't fair that he had received so many detentions for not doing his maths homework.

He had skipped dinner, preferring to walk off of grounds and into the fields that surrounded St. Johns. He was headed for a wooded area, with a little clearing that he liked to sit and think in.

Finally, he reached it, but was surprised because it had been disturbed. No one ever came here. Michael was sure that he was the only person who knew about it. But now, a long row of dirt had been dug up and replaced. Michael approached it, feeling as though he knew already what it was.

He started to dig, and stopped as his shaking fingers met flesh. He stared in horror at the face he uncovered. It was a young woman.

Michael felt his stomach heave and turned away from the body. As he retched, he knew what he had to do.

Damn detentions for being off grounds. He had to ring the cops.

~(*)~

Alex sat in the back of the van, tending to the wound on her leg. It hurt badly, throbbing with every breath she took. She had used her jacket to staunch the flow for a while, but Ryan had stolen it from her.

She had been worried because it had been bleeding heavily for what seemed like a long period of time. Finally, she started yelling at Ryan, telling him she needed help. Alex had no idea whether or not he would help her, but she knew she needed something to be done, or she would surely bleed to death. She had finally felt the van slow down and stop. Something pounded on the side before the door opened. Ryan then stepped in angrily.

"What do you want?" he hissed.

"My leg won't stop bleeding," Alex replied, not looking him in the eye, but not shrinking away from him. "If you wanted to save me all over again and I die from blood loss, that puts a spanner in the works, doesn't it?"

She felt Ryan's cold stare piercing into her core, but ignored it, staring at the long cut on her thigh. Ryan said nothing.

"Please," she whispered.

In truth, Alex was scared. What would Ryan do to her this time around? The memories of all the weeks she had spent in the prison had come back to her as she had been sitting in the jolting van.

He wouldn't take her back to the place where she had been held the first time. That would be the first place Gene would look.

Of that, Alex was confident. Gene would be searching for her. She had not shown up for work like she said she would. Hopefully, it wouldn't be as long as it had been before. Hopefully, she wouldn't need obedience lessons.

Ryan still hadn't moved. Was he angry? She was speaking without permission, she knew. But she was about to bleed out.

"Please...master," she whispered, feeling sick. _Not my master. Not my master. I'm not an animal. I belong to no one._

Ryan looked at her in shock and grinned. "Your training stayed with you then. What a good animal you are. Let's see what else you remember. Who do you listen to?"

Alex's heart sunk. It was the same list of questions she always had to answer when she'd defied him. An obedience lesson had to be imminent. However, she responded, hoping to make him less angry. "You."

"Do you argue with me?"

"No."

"Do animals speak when not permitted to speak?"

"No."

"Good. And consider yourself lucky. I'm not going to punish you for this." Alex felt relief flow through her.

"You're right. I can't save your soul if you bleed to death in the back of my van. I've got nothing to stop it though. Unless..." He trailed off thoughtfully, and suddenly removed his shoe and sock. He tied the sock around her leg, making sure it was extremely tight.

"I'll have some rags or something at the house. I'm not letting you get near a hospital," he said more to himself than her. Ryan brushed his hair back out of his face, a streak of blood appearing on his forehead.

Alex said nothing. She was starting to revert back into the mode she'd been in the past two weeks, the mode she'd been in until after his trial.

"If you're a good animal this time around, everything will move much quicker."

He jumped out of the van, and Alex heard the engine start. The van started to move, and soon, it was jolting along the road like it had been before.

Alex sighed. She had to get things into perspective. Even if Gene was looking for her, she couldn't spend the next few days in Ryan's company. She realised that every time she was near him, the 'animal' came back, quiet and timid and shy. When he was gone, she was Alex. If she could formulate a plan now, she could follow it later, even when she was the animal.

Would he tie her up? That was the first question that came to Alex's mind. Was she going to have another collar? If she didn't, she would have a better chance of escaping.

Alex started to think. Last time she hadn't been tied up until she tried to run. If she could gain his trust, would he leave her free? She'd have to be what she never wanted to become again if she wanted it to work. She'd have to be obedient to him, quiet, submissive. She'd actually have to pretend that she understood why he was doing what he was doing. Why he wanted her so badly to be saved.

She'd have to be an animal.

~(*)~

After only a few minutes, the van slowed to a stop. Alex felt fear start to build in her stomach. He had said that he wasn't going to punish her for talking, but what about everything else? Would he punish her for putting him in prison? For surviving?

The back door of the van opened, and Ryan stood, expression blank.

"How's your leg, Animal?"

Alex looked down at the sock that was tied around her thigh and back up at Ryan. She did not look in his eye, instead using the art she had perfected before his trial. She stared in the middle of his forehead. Alex didn't speak, refusing to without him telling her to do so. As long as she lived, she did not want another obedience lesson.

"It's okay to answer," Ryan said kindly, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I think...I think the bleeding's slowed," Alex said timidly.

Ryan jumped into the van, advancing on her. Alex cowered, not realising as she did so. He knelt beside her, brushing the hair out of her face. He smiled at her and then focussed his attentions on her leg, carefully untying the sock.

"It's okay, Animal," he said gently. "You don't have to be scared of your master. As long as you behave."

Alex swallowed at the implications of what would happen if she didn't behave. Ryan, however, cut into her morbid thoughts with another statement.

"You're right. It does look like the bleeding is slowing. But you're not going to move this leg until it does." With that, he picked her up off the floor of the van and jumped out.

Alex, desperate for anything to take her mind off of the fact that the last time he did this he nailed her to a cross, started staring at the scenery. There were trees everywhere, surrounding the path that Ryan had clearly driven up to get here. Tree roots stuck out here and there in the dirt road. A house stood behind her on Ryan's left, and next to it was a barn. Ryan turned, and started carrying her to the barn.

"This is where you will stay," he said. "I'll bring you dinner later. Don't move your leg too much."

With that, he set her down on the dirt floor, turning and walking out of the barn. He closed the door behind him, and Alex heard the click of a lock. She looked around. Though the barn was darkened, light showed through cracks in the wall.

_Well,_ she thought to herself, _it could definitely be worse. _Alex adjusted herself, moving to sit against the wall. Just as she had thought earlier, he hadn't tied her up. She was still locked in, but there were ways around that.

Alex continued to stare around her new prison, looking for a weakness. Besides the cracks, there didn't seem to be one. She sighed, frustrated, and flung herself against the wall.

Suddenly there was a cracking sound. Alex jumped in surprise and looked behind her. One of the boards was now hanging loose.

The wood was rotting. Perfect.

She started pushing against the wood, doing all she could to remove more of the board. Suddenly, she heard a sound outside. Alex stopped, and sat in front of the hole, trying to banish thought that there was any hope. The door opened and Ryan walked in.

"I brought you an early dinner. Then you can go straight to sleep. I'm going to be out tonight."

Inside, Alex was jumping. He was going out. She could escape. She could get back to Gene, and then she'd kiss him on the lips for five minutes straight. She'd show him that she wouldn't let Ryan get to her.

However, she kept her expression neutral, and only nodded timidly as he handed her a bowl that contained food. She noted that it wasn't a dog bowl. It looked like an actual soup bowl.

"Thank you," she whispered, not thinking. Alex froze. She had spoken without permission. She looked at the ground quickly, afraid of the beating, the obedience lesson that would follow. However, Ryan knelt next to her again and pulled her chin up.

"Manners," he said. "Good Animal."

With that he stood and left the barn, locking the doors behind him.

Alex ate the food he had provided, wanting to keep up her strength for later. She couldn't eat much of it however, as her stomach seemed to be smaller than it was after all the months of near total starvation.

She waited until the sun fell and the barn was dark before continuing to claw away the wood. She did this for what seemed like several hours, before finally, out of sheer frustration, she kicked the board. She cried out as the board broke. Something had cut into the fresh wound on her leg. She looked down. A sliver of wood was sticking out of the wound. Alex laughed. It was nothing.

She pulled the piece of wood out, and looked at the hole she had caused. It was big enough, but only just. If she still had her figure from the year before, there would be no way she could fit through it.

Alex climbed through the tiny hole, getting to her feet quickly. It was unusually clear. A full moon shone in the sky and stars dotted across the inky black blanket.

She started to run. She started to run down the path. The further she went, the bigger the grin on her face grew. She was going to get back to Gene. She didn't even notice the pain from her leg. That was nothing. She was free.

Suddenly, there was an immense pain in her ankle and Alex went sprawling across the road. She screamed in pain, and looked down at what had hurt her.

A tree root, was sticking out of the ground. Her foot had gotten caught in a little space between the root and the spot of dirt that had eroded over time.

She tried to stand, but to no avail. Her ankle hurt too much. Refusing to be denied the ability to see Gene, Alex started crawling along the path. When she found a house, she'd knock, and ask to use their phone. She'd ring an ambulance, and get her ankle taken care of, and then she'd go see him. Or even phone him first. Tell him she was okay. Tell him where she planned on going and to meet her there.

Alex nodded to herself. That was exactly what was going to happen. She continued determinedly along the path. It seemed she had been doing this for at least half an hour when she saw a pair of lights in the distance.

Soon the motor of a car was heard. As it came into her field of vision, it slowed, rolling to a stop. A man got out of the driver's side.

Alex looked up at him, horror building inside her.

Ryan was standing over her, radiating fury.

"Bad Animal. Very, very bad."

Alex felt her stomach sink. She knew what would happen now.

**to be continued  
**


	7. Punishment

**I got told that my chap titles are too hopeful for the content they contain, so here you go! :P Haha I'm just kidding. **

**Thank you to those of you who review! It makes my day like none other!**

**Thanks to Jess_Who for giving me another idea for what Ryan could do to Alex...yes...I ran out... :O And thanks as always to Blue_Jackal for being awesome, and for putting up with my many odd moods, like going from a sugar high to pissed off in three seconds! I dunno how she does it! :P**

**Also, if you're bored later, check out my new youtube vid (Shameless advertising, i know...) I'm thelawsofphysicsarea on youtube, and my new one is called Farwell by Yiruma.**

**Chapter 7: Punishment**

No matter what he told himself, Michael could not force himself to move from the spot. He was just like one of the trees, standing, staring.

Suddenly, a scream of sheer agony broke the silence. Michael froze. It sounded as though it had come from a distance, but he couldn't tell exactly how far it would have been. He started in the direction of it, but slowly, because tree roots were sticking up everywhere in the dirt path he had found.

Finally, after ten or fifteen minutes of confused running, Michael found the source. There was a woman on the side of the road, her hands clutched around her ankle. However, she didn't even seem to be noticing the pain from that. Instead she was looking fearfully to her right, as though expecting someone to show up at any moment.

"Do you need help?" Michael heard himself asking. The woman jumped, staring at him in disbelief.

His first thought was that the woman was literally an angel that had fallen from heaven. The moon illuminated her in its silvery light, accentuating her perfect cheek bones, a straight nose, her full lips.

Her face, however, was covered in streaks of mud and her medium length hair was a mess. As Michael took in the rest of her, he realised she was severely emaciated.

"Do you want me to ring an ambulance?" he asked her.

Suddenly there was the crack of a twig in the distance. The woman looked toward it fearfully and turned back to him.

"Gene Hunt," she whispered frantically. "Ring him. Tell him where you found me. Alex. He works at Fenchurch East. Now go before Ryan sees you."

Michael nodded, slightly overwhelmed at the speed of what she had said. He started back, stopping however, to look at what was coming towards her. He gasped.

It was the man from earlier. He approached the woman, but spoke in a hiss, low enough that Michael couldn't hear him. Michael looked toward the east, where the man had come from. He realised he had to know where the man had taken her. Otherwise, how could he show this Hunt that she spoke of where she was?

Michael started walking east, stopping when he saw a giant house. Beside it was a barn. The side of the barn had a board missing on the bottom.

Nodding to himself, he started back to the school, surprised at how relatively quickly he was able to find his way back. He planned on ringing the Hunt man as soon as he got in.

However, as Michael slowly shut the door behind him, he knew something was wrong.

"Go for a walk, Mister Hargreaves?"

Michael's shoulder's sagged. It was the headmaster.

"This isn't the first time you've run around after hours, is it? I've gotten many reports dating back to the day you came here that you were off grounds, missing from your dormitory, and so on. This time, I think you need a suitable punishment. First off, detention for a week. And no phone privileges for the next three days. You can't call mummy and daddy now. Now go to bed."

With that, the headmaster walked off. Michael walked slowly to his dormitory, sinking onto his bed in utter disappointment. The headmaster wouldn't believe what he had seen. How would he report the body now? Without phone privileges, how in the hell would he help Alex?

~(*)~

Ryan approached quickly after the boy disappeared. Alex wondered if she was really that close to a house. She hadn't seen anything up ahead, but the boy had been there. She was surprised when she heard his voice. It was deep, far deeper than she expected it to be for a boy his age. When she had turned, she had expected a tall man to be standing there, not a gangly boy of thirteen or fourteen. However, she knew that she had to tell someone to tell Gene. As he had run off, she felt hope building once again. Gene would find her soon.

A snap of a twig brought her back to reality. Ryan had told her to stay put and drove away. As tempted as she had been to keep crawling down the road, she knew that he would get even angrier with her if she did. So she had sat, waiting for him to come back like a good girl. It made her feel sick.

"You ran away," said Ryan flatly. Alex looked down at the ground, afraid of what he was going to say next.

"Stand up."

Alex looked at him. She couldn't stand! She could hardly move her ankle.

"Don't be stubborn, Animal. Stubbornness will just make me angrier."

Alex swallowed. She had to try and get up. She couldn't afford to make him angrier than he already was. _Why_ hadn't she hidden in the trees when she realised a car was approaching?

Alex sighed to herself, getting up to her knees. She knew it wouldn't have mattered. Even if she did escape, Ryan would have found her eventually. Even if she went back to Gene, Ryan would have gotten her again. Because in the future, there would be a day where Gene went off by himself, or had to leave her alone for just an hour. Ryan would always be watching. And in that hour that Gene left her alone, Ryan would pounce and kidnap her again. No, the only way he would leave her alone would be if he was dead.

Alex pulled herself up onto her left foot, making sure to keep all her weight off her right. Ryan looked at her oddly.

"What did you do to yourself, Animal? Answer."

"I think my ankles broken," Alex said in the timid voice she hated so much.

Ryan grinned evilly. "Walk back."

Alex stared at him in disbelief.

"Use both feet. Don't hop on one leg. Walk."

Alex looked down at her feet. Her right was clearly swollen.

"_Walk,_ Animal," Ryan said impatiently.

Steeling herself, Alex stepped out with her right foot. As soon as her body weight shifted, a searing pain shot up her leg. It was all she could do not to cry out. But she knew that would make Ryan angrier.

Alex switched back to her left foot quickly, not noticing that her breathing was slightly heavier from the pain. Ryan stood next to her, impatiently waiting for her to take her next step.

She made slow progress, covering only a few metres every few minutes. All the while, her leg burned in pain. Finally, after what seemed like hours, they reached the house. Alex started back towards the barn, but Ryan stopped her, swinging her up in his arms like she weighed nothing.

"No. You're not going back in there. I don't know how you got out, but I'm making sure you won't again." He carried her into the house, taking her up to the top level. The room was tiny, but bare. Ryan set her on the ground, squatting down by her ankle. He rolled up the leg of her trousers.

"Your trousers fit looser than they used to," he commented dryly. "Does this mean you learned something last time?"

Alex held back a whimper as he poked her ankle, which was now swollen to twice its size.

"Your healing is with the Lord now. I have nothing to make a cast. Or ice. Remember, this is your fault, Animal. If you hadn't run, you'd be fine."

Alex stared at the ground. She was waiting, just waiting for the obedience lesson. Ryan seemed in no hurry, however. He continued to examine her ankle, moving up to the cut on her thigh.

"You cut this open again? You'll never heal properly if you continue do that."

They sat in silence for several minutes. Alex's leg was throbbing, each beat of her heart sending another shot of pain.

"Look at me," Ryan said. Alex looked up, staring at his forehead. Ryan pushed back her hair and stared straight into her eyes, holding her chin gently.

"So fearful," he said softly. "Always terrified. Maybe I went a little too far before."

Alex wanted to scream at him. Of course he had gone too far. He had raped her on multiple occasions for six weeks and then finished by nailing her to a cross. However, she kept her mouth shut, continuing to stare at his forehead.

"I'm not here to hurt you, Animal. I'm here to teach. But when you disobey, I have to punish you," he explained.

Alex felt her fists clenching and tried to lay her palms flat out again. She couldn't punch him. No matter how much she wanted to. She wanted to lay into him, to punish him like he had her. She'd love to see him laid out on a cross, whip marks across his back and a crown of barbed wire around his head.

"It'll be different this time," he said softly, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. "You may have run, but that's to be expected. All animals run away at some point. But I think you've learnt almost everything I can teach you. It's just a matter of applying it now. And when you do learn, you can have a name again. You'll be human again, Animal."

Ryan gave a wide smile.

"When you're human again, you'll get privileges back. You'll be able to eat off plates, to sleep in a bed, to roam freely in the convent you'll be sent to."

With that, Ryan stood, leaving Alex alone in the middle of the tiny room, staring behind him, dumbfounded.

A convent? He was going to send her to a convent? How could he? Would they even let her in?

Alex paused, stopping her racing mind for a moment. She had told the boy about being here. She had told him to ring Gene. The boy would. He had to!

Alex clutched onto that one little piece of hope, as the rest started to fade from her. The boy would ring Gene. Gene would find her. She'd be safe in a matter of hours. Ryan would be in jail once more, and she'd be free, free to show Gene exactly how she felt.

She sat against the wall, thinking the mantra over and over.

_The boy will ring Gene. Gene will find me. I'll be safe._

_~(*)~_

Michael lay restlessly on his bed, angry for being caught. How was he supposed to help Alex now? Suddenly, he sat straight up in bed.

_Peter. _He could tell Peter about what he had seen. Peter would ring Gene Hunt for him, since his privileges had been stripped for the next several days.

Michael crawled out of bed, sneaking quietly down the corridor to Peter's room. He had to get a hold of that man. He had to save the woman. And he wouldn't be able to sleep until he did.

~(*)~

Ryan closed the door silently behind him. He hadn't expected her to run away like she had. She had been so obedient during the day , he thought that if he left, she would be the same way. However, she was clearly either going to need to be watched or locked in.

Of course, with her ankle the way it was, she wasn't going to be able to walk for a while. He could tell by her extreme reluctance earlier that it hurt badly. Ryan smiled to himself. Her punishment was suiting. She was desperate to run, so he made her walk. It was perfect, in his mind.

Still he was troubled. Had he gone too far before? He had believed he was doing what the Lord told him to, but had he been listening to the Lord before? Or was he listening to his own anger?

"_Lord," _he prayed silently. _"Give me the guidance to teach her properly. Help me to make sure she understands and is not too fearful. Amen."_

Ryan moved down the stairs to get something to eat. He heard the Animal shuffling around a little bit, but soon it was quiet. Ryan smiled to himself. This time it would go perfectly.

~(*)~

Alex moved around, trying to get to a comfortable spot. Eventually, exhaustion claimed her, and she slipped into the land of dreaming.

Unknown to her or anyone else, her temperature increased a tenth of a degree.

**...to be continued...**


	8. Tombs

**A huge thanks goes out to those who reviewed the last chapter. A humongous thanks to Jess_Who, who gave me the idea for this chapter. And thank you to Bloo, cause without her twisted mind, I wouldn't be writing this.**

**Chapter 8: Tombs**

"What the hell? You woke me up in the middle of the night for a dream?" Peter asked, rubbing his eyes and blinking blearily at Michael.

"I'm telling you mate, this really happened!"

"Wait wait wait... You're telling me you actually saw some woman sitting in the middle of the road, and that she told you to alert the cops? And that you found a body?"

"_Yes! _Peter! The headmaster won't believe me, you've gotta use the phone and ring this Gene Hunt bloke!"

"Michael, think rationally. Even if you hadn't dreamed this, it's the middle of the bloody night. Your copper wouldn't be at work right now, would he?"

Michael's shoulders slumped. "No, I guess not."

"Good. Go back to bed. We'll talk about this at a more decent hour."

Defeated, Michael headed back to his bed. He had really thought that Peter would believe him. That he would spring right into action. Clearly, he wouldn't believe him unless he saw proof.

The next morning, Michael knew, he would make Peter see the truth.

~(*)~

Alex woke to the sun shining in the window of her tiny prison. It had to be very early in the morning. She looked down towards her ankle, which was an ugly shade of bluish-black. It was extremely swollen, and still throbbed painfully. The cut on her thigh had healed slightly, but the skin around it was slightly red. Alex ignored it, trying to figure out what to do. Gene should have been here by now.

Suddenly a shadow of doubt emerged. What if the boy hadn't been able to reach Gene? What if Gene still had no idea where she was? She couldn't spend too much longer with Ryan. How much longer would it be until he decided that obedience lessons were necessary? Until she did something wrong and he beat her within an inch of her life? How much longer until he fixed her in a collar again? No, she had to get out. She couldn't rely on anyone else to persuade Gene to come get her.

But how? She was locked in this tiny room, completely at the mercy of the madman downstairs. Unless...

Alex thought back to the night before. She didn't remember him locking the door. Could it be that she had stayed in an unlocked room all night, resigned to a fate she could escape?

Alex crawled over to the door and tried the handle. It turned easily and the door swung open silently. She stared at the passage outside the room for a moment in complete shock. Had he really been that careless?

Shrugging, she started crawling out of the room. She was faced with two problems. One, she had no idea where the phone would be. Two, Ryan was somewhere downstairs. What would happen if he found her? What would he do? He said things would be different, but what did he mean by that? Did that mean no more obedience lessons? If it did, that meant she would be able to do almost anything. She could take a beating. She would walk on her broken ankle again. She just didn't want to ever experience another lesson.

Swallowing, praying she was right, Alex started to crawl down the hallway, looking for a phone in every room she passed. As she crawled past each room, her little bubble of hope seemed to shrink further and further. Finally, after trying to drag herself down the stairs as quietly as possible, she found a phone. Alex smiled and looked around quickly to make sure Ryan was nowhere in sight.

After making sure, she pulled herself over to the phone. She looked at a clock on the wall. It was half seven. Gene may not be at work yet. She decided to try and phone him at home first. Alex quickly dialled the number, and delighted at the sound of ringing on the other end.

"_Hello?" _Gene's voice asked miserably on the other end.

Delighted, Alex drew a deep breath in. Suddenly, the phone was ripped from her hands and slammed back down in the cradle in front of her. The bubble of hope burst completely and she looked down at the floor, feeling Ryan's fury radiate around the room.

There was a smacking sound and an immense sting on her cheek as Ryan backhanded her across the face. Alex, already sitting on the floor, fell to the side and curled up into a ball, hoping to protect herself from any more pain. However, no more blows fell on her.

She dared to look up, to where Ryan was standing over her. His fists were clenched, but it looked like he was trying to get control over himself.

"I tried to be nice, Animal. Trying to run once is understandable. But twice? No. I'm not going to put up with this any longer. Maybe you aren't as far along in your learning as I thought you were."

He stared down at her, still curled up in a ball on the floor, and grinned. "You're like a white washed tomb," he quoted. "Beautiful on the outside, but filled on the inside with dead men's bones and all sorts of impurity. In fact..." Ryan trailed off thoughtfully.

"I can show you what you're like on the inside, Animal. How'd you like to see?"

He picked her up quickly and carried her back out to the transit van, throwing her in the back. Alex cried out as her ankle hit the ground, which earned her a light slap across the face.

"Move back. Sit in the middle."

Alex complied, sitting in the very middle of the van. Ryan looked at her thoughtfully.

"I wonder if the lead..." he said, trailing off as Alex's stomach contracted in fear.

"No. I don't think I'll need it," he answered himself, not noticing as Alex visibly relaxed. "I can carry you easily."

With that, he slammed the door. Alex heard the ignition start and felt as the road started to get bumpy, aggravating her ankle. Where was he taking her? He had said something about a whitewashed tomb. Would he really put her in one? She shuddered at the thought, but didn't doubt for a second he wouldn't.

The question was now, would he leave her there to die? And if the boy did get in contact with Gene, would Gene be able to find her? Would Ryan leave town, his mission complete?

The questions continued to race through her head as the van chugged along. Suddenly it stopped, and she slid forward, trying not to cry out as her ankle hit the door. She scrambled back as she heard the door slam. She didn't want Ryan to see her against the door. He'd only get angry.

She had only just made it back to the centre of the van when the door swung open wide. Ryan grinned at her.

"Good Animal. Scoot forward to the edge."

Alex did as she was told, and he picked her up again. She was getting frustrated by being carried everywhere and wondered why he wouldn't just let her walk. A quick throb from her ankle reminded her.

She started to take in her surroundings. She seemed to be in some kind of a graveyard. Alex knew now that he really was serious. He was going to show her the inside of a whitewashed tomb.

As Ryan approached the tomb, she shrank back, knowing that it would do no good. He set her on the ground and opened the tomb, picking her up again. Slowly he walked into the black tomb and set her on the ground.

"Have fun, Animal."

Alex screamed at the top of her lungs as the opening shut, desperately crawling towards it. It didn't matter though. It was shut before she had even made it halfway. No one would be able to hear her screams now.

The tomb was pitch black. The air was stale and musty, and Alex could clearly smell the rot of a body decomposing. She shuddered, sitting in the middle of the tomb, not touching anything but the ground she was sitting on. There was nothing left to do now but wait. Wait to be freed back into Ryan's hands? Or wait to die?

Alex couldn't help it. She was starting to hope for the latter.

~(*)~

It was two days before Michael had wheedled Peter enough to make him investigate with him. During this time, his sleep had been restless, always thinking about Alex. Who was the man who was holding her? What had the man done after Michael had left? Why was Alex so thin? Was the man starving her?

All these questions swam in his head overnight, and in the morning he'd continue to bring up the topic. Peter had tried to end it for a while, but eventually started tuning him out. When Michael realised this, he had started to poke Peter when he noticed Peter's attention fading. Finally, reluctantly, Peter had agreed to accompany Michael to where he had found the body.

"I just can't believe this, Michael," Peter said as they hiked to the wooded area. "You saw a dead body and a kidnapped woman all in the same day? And the same man twice in one day? People just don't get that lucky unless it's the pictures or something."

Michael stopped in the clearing of the trees, where the ground had been disturbed. "There," he said, pointing.

Pete stopped, just staring. Only the tip of the woman's nose was visible, but it was enough to convince him. "We need to call the cops," he whispered.

"Not yet. I'm going to show you Alex is real too."

"Michael, I already believe you!"

"No," he said flatly. It had taken him two days. He was going to milk this for all it was worth. Michael continued out of the clearing to where he had found Alex on the road days previously. From there, he moved quickly on the path of grass he had smashed down running to and from the house. Peter followed, breathing heavily, his normally immaculate blonde hair falling all over his face.

Michael stopped in front of the house. It was completely still. "There," he breathed. There was an aura around the house, something that filled him with dread. Had something bad happened to Alex? Would she join the woman in the clearing? Curious, Michael started sneaking toward the house.

"Michael!" Peter whispered. "I believe you! Get back here!"

Michael heard nothing, continuing to walk towards the house as though some strange force pulled him there. Before he knew it, his face was pressed up against the window, peering in.

Although the place had an air of neglect, it was clearly lived in. Papers were strewn across the floor and a half eaten meal was on the table. The man had to be here. Alex had to be.

Michael started towards the door of the house, his curiosity getting the better of him. He tried the door, surprised to find it was unlocked. Michael moved quietly up to the second level, knowing that if Alex was being held in the house, the man wouldn't be dumb enough to hide her on the bottom floor where anyone could peer in.

He looked in all the rooms on the second level, which were mostly empty, except two. One was the toilet, and the other was a study of some sort. There were multiple books lining the shelves and a desk in the middle. On the desk, one book stood open, passages highlighted in it. Next to it was a pencil holder and a phone. Michael smiled. He could ring Gene from here then, and tell exactly where he was.

~(*)~

Outside the house, Peter waited anxiously for Michael to remerge. What the hell was he doing in there? Just as Peter's patience was running out and he was about to reveal himself from his hiding spot, a van pulled up in the driveway.

A man got out of the van, lugging a bag of groceries. It looked normal enough, but the man gave him the chills. His black hair was long and unkempt, but his face looked freshly shaved. Somehow this made him even more sinister looking.

Peter could only watch helplessly as the man walked into the house that Michael had yet to come out of.

~(*)~

Michael had just finished his sweep of the house and was heading back downstairs when he heard the lock turn. He froze, trying to find a place to hide, but the stairs were directly in front of the door. The door swung open wide, and the man looked up at him, a small grin playing across his face.

"What do we have here?"

Michael tried to run back upstairs, but the man was too fast. He grabbed him and held him tightly.

"Why are you here?"

Michael said nothing. The man released him, and just as Michael started to run, he was met with a blow to the back. Michael fell to the ground, stunned. Blow after blow fell on him. He curled up into a ball, but it did no good.

Finally, the punches stopped. The man was panting heavily and Michael was trying to hold back tears of pain.

"Why are you here?" he asked again, dangerously.

"Alex," he said, his voice cracking. "What did you do to her? Tell me!"

"I'll give you better," the man said happily. "I'll show you."

Michael felt his hands being handcuffed together and a blindfold was placed around his eyes. As he walked blindly, he hoped that Peter would have enough sense to call the cops.

~(*)~

As soon as Michael was led out of the house, Peter took off back to the school, running. He had to ring this Gene Hunt. Michael was his best friend. And if he died at the hands of the man, it would be all Peter's fault.

**to be continued**


	9. Clowns

**Thank you to those that reviewed the previous chap! And thank you so much to Bloo, who completely changed the direction of chapter 10.**

**Chapter 9: Clowns**

Alex stared into the pitch black, wondering if Ryan was ever going to come back. She had no idea how long it had been, only that she was extremely thirsty. Hunger was nothing to go by, as she rarely was anymore. It could have been days and she'd still feel fine. She had been feeling more and more ill as she continued to stare into the black in the timeless prison. Alex wasn't sure what was going on. Was it just dehydration? Or something more? Her ankle still hurt and now, for some reason, her thigh was throbbing where Ryan had cut her. What was going on?

She shivered. It was cold in the tomb. Alex had not moved except to lie down in the entire time she had been imprisoned there. She was afraid, but not of the tomb. Everyone was dead in there. Except her. For now.

That was what she was afraid of. She didn't want to die without seeing Gene first. Being stuck in the tomb wasn't horrible. It was mostly boring. Spending hours on end staring at nothing with no one but her own thoughts to listen to was awful. It was actually a form of torture.

All she could think of was Gene. His blonde hair, steely blue eyes. That pout that she had to pretend she didn't notice when she actually swooned. But then another thought would come into her mind. The idea that she may never see that face again. Never see the pout, or the eyes, or his gorgeous mane. That would eat away at her until she finally fell asleep again.

Alex knew that Gene wouldn't find her in the tomb. She doubted the boy had rung him even. Why would he? She was just some stranger sitting in the road in the middle of the night. How odd must that have seemed?

Alex sighed. All she could do was wait until Ryan came back, or wait until she died. Either would be better than the endless boredom of sitting next to a dead body.

Suddenly, the door opened. Alex blinked in the bright light. A silhouette was standing in the entrance. She smiled. It wasn't Ryan. She was safe.

~(*)~

Gene was still sleeping when the phone rang. He had slept badly the night before, having nightmares of Alex being tortured by Burns the entire night. Every time he shut his eyes, he was back in the room that Burns had imprisoned her in when he was kidnapped.

As he dozed off, he dreamed of when he had come round, seeing Burns on top of her. He was relieved that the phone rang, distracting him from his thoughts. Gene picked it up mumbling a greeting into it.

The person on the other end drew in a great breath before the phone was slammed down. Gene stared at the phone. Something was going on.

He started down the stairs quietly. Annie was staying with him again for a few days. After her initial outburst where she had called him a wanker, she hadn't said much else to him. They were pleasant to each other, but she was annoying him to find out when he was going to come back to work. He didn't want to go back. But he knew he had to. He had to face Alex's empty desk at some point. He would have to become accustomed to a new DI sitting there.

As he shuffled around making coffee, he heard the stairs creak. Annie emerged into the kitchen and smiled softly at him.

"Coffee'll be ready in a moment."

"Brilliant. I'm useless until I've had coffee."

Gene gave a hint of a smile before pouring two mugs of coffee. They both sat at the table in a polite silence, until Annie finally broke it.

"When are you going back?"

"Tomorrow," he replied. "I've gotta find Burns. It's what Alex would have wanted me to do. Then I'll kill the bastard and spend the rest of my life in prison."

Annie gave him a look, but said nothing. No more words were exchanged for the rest of the morning, both too lost in their own thoughts.

Annie left for a while to go shopping with Shaz, with whom she'd gotten close the year previously. Gene wandered around the house aimlessly, finally going to sit out in the garden. He looked at the house next to him where his neighbour Eva McLean lived. It was strange. He hadn't seen her lately. He knew she had gone on holiday for a while, but her car was on the street in front of the house. Usually, she was out in the garden, always doing something with flowers.

Gene decided to go check on her. It wasn't like her to leave her flowers to die. He walked to her house and knocked on the door. There was no answer. Gene knocked again.

"Eva?" he yelled. "Eva? Are you there?"

There was still no reply. Fed up, Gene decided to do the natural thing and kick the door down. He had to hold back a gasp. There was blood all over the floor and it was spattered across the wall. Next to the door, there was a small shell casing. Gene walked straight back over to his house and phoned Ray.

"Ray, get your arse and the rest of CID over here. I think there's been another murder."

~(*)~

Alex stared at the silhouette, smiling delightedly. She was saved. The person would help her out and she'd be able to ring Gene. However, the person didn't move from the entrance. Alex tried to move towards the person, but was unable to.

Suddenly, the person started to approach her. Alex had to hold back a scream. It was the clown. The door of the tomb slammed shut behind him, but he stayed illuminated, walking towards her.

"Alex," his unnaturally deep voice said. "We've been waiting for you Alex."

"Dad. Please!" The clown laughed. "I'm not your father, Alex. Not anymore."

Alex shrank back trying to hide in the middle of the tomb. It was to no avail, however. There was nothing in here but coffins on marble tables. There was nowhere to hide, and she couldn't run on her broken ankle. The clown stepped closer and closer to her, his grin widening as he got closer. He knelt down next to her, his face suddenly changing to one of concern.

"Hang on, honey. You'll be fine." His face was no longer white, but a normal flesh tone. He was wearing glasses. It was her dad.

"Am I dying?" she asked, like a child.

"Xandra, just calm down. Be a good girl." Her father kissed her forehead before backing away.

"Dad!"

"Alex!" A new voice was yelling at her now. "Alex, are you okay?"

Alex focussed on the face in front of her. It was the boy. He was holding a torch up toward the ceiling, illuminating them both.

"You," she whispered. "But how?"

"I tried to ring Gene, Alex," the boy said sorrowfully, "but I couldn't. I was banned from the phone at school, and then when I tried to get Pete to ring him, he wouldn't, cause he didn't believe me."

"No one knows we're here?"

"Except Ryan, no. But Pete knows where Ryan's house is. And if I know him, he's running back to the school to ring Gene as we speak."

"But unless Ryan tells him, we're stuck here," Alex said quietly.

They both looked at each other quietly as this new fact sunk in. Alex started searching the boys face, shocked to find that one of his eyes was completely swollen shut and he had a stream of blood that had dried on his face.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Ryan – that's his name, right? He found me in his house and when I ran, he beat the shit out of me...excuse my language."

"No," Alex said wryly. "That actually seems pretty accurate given your current looks."

"Then after that, he handcuffed and blindfolded me, and threw me into what I think was a van. The next thing I know, he's pulling the blindfold off, and I'm here. I dunno why he gave me a torch though."

"You're younger. He might have thought it would scare you more. How old are you anyway?"

"Fourteen," he answered.

Alex nodded. She hadn't expected him to be much older than thirteen. "What's your name?" She realised that the past however many days, she had been thinking of him simply as 'the boy.' That wasn't right.

"Michael," he said.

"It's lovely to meet you, Michael," she replied. "I wish it were under different circumstances, but..."

"What's up with that guy anyway?" Michael interrupted. "Why did he put us in here?"

"He's religious," Alex explained. "He believes he's cleansing us."

"He's mad!"

"Yes, but that won't stop him. He's already tried to kill me once. This may possibly be time two."

"What did he do?" Michael asked.

Alex froze. Memory after memory washed over her. The long periods of time standing on the short chained collar, completely exhausted. Being fed out of a dog bowl. Being stripped of her name, having it replaced with Animal or, in the end, whore. The obedience lessons when she acted up or did something undesirable. Finally, the view from hanging on the cross stayed in her mind. She remembered looking down and seeing the woman in the moonlight, the woman that turned out to be Annie.

"You okay Alex?" Michael asked, but his voice was far away as the memories continued to flow.

Being unable to speak without fearing punishment for months. Not being able to eat. Not looking anyone in the eye. Getting panic attacks whenever anyone touched her. Being afraid of everyone, even Gene. She had appreciated him helping her, yes, but she was still terrified. After her experience with Ryan she had believed that Gene would start to call her Animal, to claim her as his. She had often lain awake at night, wondering when he'd get a collar for her, when he'd stop her from going out into the garden.

But as she slowly progressed, her fears diminished. She knew from the beginning that they were pointless, but it was a pathological fear. Just like someone being afraid of spiders or heights. With Annie's help, she had gotten over this. It had helped that Gene didn't seem to have much of a temper anymore. Maybe he was getting it all out at work.

"Alex?" Michael said again.

Alex looked at him. His face was swimming in her vision. She tried to focus on it, but it wouldn't come into her view.

"Alex," his voice said a third time, echoing around. Alex shook her head. Michaels face came back into focus.

"Are you okay?" Alex nodded, mystified at what had happened.

"It's really hot in here," she said, wishing she was alone so she could take off another layer.

"Are you mad, Alex?" Michael asked. "It's bloody freezing."

"No, it's not. It's boiling," she argued.

She was growing tired. Alex closed her eyes, just to relieve the ache in her head caused by the torchlight.

She was aware of voices calling her, but she couldn't open her eyes again. They were too heavy. Someone started to shake her, calling her name again, but it seemed from a distance.

"_Alex, c'mon! Wake up!"_

She opened her eyes, staring up at a boy with bruises all over his face. She knew him from somewhere. But where?

Alex decided to close her eyes again, just to think about it. When she opened them again, the boy was gone. Something heavy was on her, but she couldn't lift her head to see what it was. She was cold now. Very cold.

The voices were calling at her again. It seemed as though there were five different voices speaking around her, calling at her. It was too much. She closed her eyes, trying to drown out the noise. It faded out again into blissful silence.

Alex relaxed, enjoying the quietness around her. Suddenly, she was falling though the air. She tried to grab something, but could not.

Finally, she landed, and started running. What from, she didn't know. All she knew was that she had to run. Flashes of people and things swam in front of her. A girl, maybe twelve, with mousy brown hair and a birthmark on her cheek. A man with a gun, pointing it at her. A boy, with face full of bruises, who she swore she knew. A red car, racing the streets. Through this all, Alex continued to run. Eventually, she stopped, panting for breath. She looked down at the ground. Only it wasn't the ground. She was standing on sky. Only that wasn't possible. Alex looked up to see grass above her. How was this happening? She tried to move forward, to figure out what was going on, but she started falling. As Alex fell, she realised. There was no stopping when you fell into the sky.

Her eyes snapped open again, but this didn't help. The girl from her dream was there, along with a man she never thought she'd see again. A man she didn't want to see again.

"Pete," she hissed. He looked at her, concerned, and tried to touch her forehead, but she swatted him away. "Out," she demanded. "Get out."

Pete listened, walking away from her, and the girl followed. No. The girl wasn't supposed to leave. The girl was important for some reason. She called out, but the girl ignored her. Alex closed her eyes again. She was tired. So tired.

She was walking now, down the street she had lived on when she was a girl, before her parents died. Alex spotted her house immediately and walked in, not caring that her parents would probably not recognise her.

She walked back to the kitchen, where her father and mother were sitting at the table. Gene was sitting with them. Alex looked at them, confused. What was Gene doing here?

"Bolly," he said. "It's about bloody time." He turned to her mother. "I'm sorry Caroline, I told her the time for tea, but she never shows up on time."

"It's quite alright, Gene" her mother replied pleasantly.

What the hell was going on? Gene hated the Prices and Caroline was never that warm and inviting to him.

"Alex," Tim said pleasantly. "Why don't you sit down?"

Alex cautiously sat in the remaining chair at the table. Gene was chatting quietly with the two Prices and she just sat, watching in utter amazement.

"Bolly," Gene said sternly. "You're being rude. Caroline and Tim invited us both over and you haven't even said thank you yet."

Alex turned to her father, who was forcing a smile at her.

"I'm sorry...Tim."

He smiled coldly at her. "We're waiting for you Alex," he said, his voice abnormally deep. Alex moved away from him, looking to her mother for support.

Caroline stared at her a moment and spoke. "You're all alone Alex. No one can save you now. Can't even trust Gene, can you?"

Alex was getting seriously scared. She looked toward Gene, but he was looking at her in disgust.

"Animal," he muttered. "Never anything but an animal."

Alex looked back to her father, but he no longer sat in the chair next to her. In his place was the clown. Alex started to back away, looking to her mother. She was no longer across from her. Keats was now looking at her, a smile of pure delight on his face.

"No," she whispered. "It can't be. It can't."

"It is, animal," said the voice on her right. Alex reluctantly turned her head to see Ryan sitting where Gene had.

With a cry she bolted from the room, but they surrounded her, each chanting his own mantra.

"We're waiting for you Alex."

"You're all alone, Alex."

"ANIMAL!"

Alex sank to her knees, sobbing and curling up into the foetal position.

The men of her nightmares continued to chant, getting louder and louder before they finally fell into silence.

Even the silence was unbearable. Shaking, sobbing, she prayed for it all just to end.

Out of the silence emerged on still solemn voice.

_"Bolly."_

Everything faded to black.

**to be continued**


	10. My Baby

**And now everything takes a small twist...Thank you to Blue-Jackal for this twist. And thanks to those that still review. It makes me smile when i see the alert :)**

**Chapter 10: My Baby**

The world had faded into blackness some time ago, but Alex was still aware. She was terrified of what was happening, mostly because she had no idea what was happening. What had happened to the tomb? The boy? Who was the girl that kept visiting her? Why was this happening? Had she finally gone mad? Or was she dying? Had the starvation finally taken its toll and now her organs were failing?

Alex could feel that her eyes were closed. She was afraid to open them, afraid to see what was going on. The last thing she had known, Ryan, the clown, and Keats were all after her. If she opened her eyes, would they still be there?

Alex listened carefully for any sounds. Hearing none, she decided to open her eyes. She looked around. She was in some sort of bed. Alex tried to stand.

"No, Alex," said a voice. "Can't do that yet."

The smell of burnt flesh reached her. Alex looked to see where it was coming from. She had to cover her mouth with the hand that was free to prevent herself from screaming. A corpse was what was holding her wrist. But it wasn't just any corpse. It was the body of her mother. Alex tried to shrink away from her, but Caroline stood over the bed, putting her rotting hand on her forehead.

Alex could not look away from the decaying face, the expression set in a lipless grin. Caroline stared at her out of lidless sockets. Her nose had deteriorated completely. Alex looked down, noting the ribs moving in and out as the corpse of her mother breathed, stretching the fragments of skin and muscle that still connected the bones together.

"Mum," she whispered, terrified. "Can't be you."

"Relax, Alex," her father said, standing next to her mum in quite the same condition. She's trying to help you."

"No," she moaned, trying to push her mother's hands away. Suddenly, someone else walked in the room. Alex turned to look at the person, to plead with them to send Gene and get her out of this hellhole.

"How is she?" the person asked. Alex could have cried in disappointment. It wasn't a person. It was another decaying body. The corpse looked at her, eyes worried. Alex realised who it was. "Evan," she whimpered.

"Alex," said her father, as her mother put a cold cloth on her forehead. "Do you recognise anyone at all?"

"Dad," she replied. "But you're dead."

Her father shook his head. He sat down next to her, taking a drink from a flask. It was odd; Alex didn't remember him ever drinking out of a flask. She watched, horrified as the scotch dripped down his throat and splashed on the tattered remains of his sooty clothes, staining them amber.

"Alex," said her mother. "Can you tell me where you are?"

"Gene," she said, her eyes growing heavier as sleep started to claim her again. "Want Gene."

Alex slid gratefully back into the darkness, hearing only one word.

"_Bolly."_

~(*)~

"_My brain is in severe trauma and so will not expend energy, creating people I don't need. Therefore, everything is significant."_

What an odd thing to say, Alex thought as she stared at the woman yelling at Chris and Shaz. Had she really been like that three years ago? Three years ago, the first time she ever met Burns. Alex had no idea what had happened to him now. She had no idea where _she _was now. It seemed like she was watching a television show of her life, as scene by scene flicked by.

All she saw were little quips she had made, but slowly they built a picture in her head.

"_Look, all right. Just relax, okay, 'Chris?'" she said, making air quotes. "I know how this goes. Hunt's the bullish one, Ray's the misogynistic one, and you're the nervous one. Blah, blah, blah. I don't care! I'm going to stop Arthur Layton because that could be the mental trigger to get me out of here. Okay?"_

_Chris looked at her. "Roger that."_

_She was sitting next to Ray now. They were discussing Sam. "Then my theory's right! In real life, I might have only been shot a second ago!"_

Alex sense there was something that she needed to remember. There was a reason these little flashes kept playing in front of her.

"_My mum says I've got a head like a sieve," Shaz said, in front of an interview room. _

"_And I've got a head with a bullet in it."_

_Jackie Queen was on her couch, fag in hand. "So what's it like? Being a mother?"_

"_Well, once you have a child, you're no longer in control of your own life. You know, there's somebody else who's far, far more important that you. Someone you'd lay down your life for."_

Why was she giving this advice? She hadn't had a child! Or...had she? The girl with mousy brown hair emerged from the scenes playing in front of Alex. She stood in front as another one flashed, but Alex didn't pay attention, staring at the little girl.

"I know you," Alex said. "I've seen you before. But where?"

The girl smiled. "I wouldn't expect you to remember."

The voice sounded so familiar. Who was she?

"The world you were in, it was _too_ real. You forgot where you came from."

"I transferred from the Met, didn't I?"

"Think," the girl said. "Do you ever know something that happens before it happens? Songs that don't exist?"

"Sometimes," Alex answered honestly.

"Play a game with me," the girl said. "Think to 1981."

"Why?" Alex protested.

"Just do it. Imagine, the car bomb that destroyed the Prices, seeing that."

"I don't have to imagine it. I saw it with my own eyes."

"Yes. Now see it through Alex Price's eyes."

Alex blinked, amazed that she could see the incident perfectly from the little girls eyes, from the car blowing up to Gene coming to protect her.

"Now think about Arthur Layton. Imagine him in 2008, twenty seven years older."

Again, Alex could picture it perfectly. He had a gun, it was pointing at her. A bullet flew out the barrel.

Suddenly the girl moved, and Alex's attention was drawn back to the scenes flashing in front of her.

"_The moment it happened, I saw the bullet and I thought, 'This is it, Alex. This is how it ends.'"_

"Molly," Alex whispered, staring at the girl, who had matured in front of her very eyes to a young woman. Her hair was cut shorter, styled in layers. She wore trousers and a suit jacket. Her hair had darkened slightly, making her look even more like Alex than she had before. Indeed, the only way to tell them apart was the colour of their eyes and the birthmark on Molly's cheek.

"Mum," Molly said.

"I was in a coma."

"You're waking from it."

"I'm still alive in 2008?"

Molly shook her head, smiling sadly. "You died years ago, Mum. It was tough, but Evan helped a lot."

"How many years have passed?"

"Ten. I became I copper, like you."

"You'll do wonderfully," Alex assured her.

Molly shook her head. As it swayed from side to side it changed. Her face bloodied on the right side, the temple crushed into her head.

"My first month," Molly said. "We were responding to a robbery. I went around back...and... and felt a blinding pain. The blow sent me unconscious; the fragments of my skull destroyed most of my brain function. They didn't even try to save me," she said softly. "Still. I broke the line. Grandmother left you behind, you left me. I left no one. The ill fated Price lineage is finished."

Alex was wiping the tears from her eyes. "My baby."

Molly hugged her, her face back to normal once more. "I'll be fine Mum. I found my Gene. You need to get back to yours."

Alex was confused. "What do you mean? I thought you said I was dead."

"You're dead in 2008. You've got a life in 1984. Although, by the looks of it, you haven't been trying much to have one."

"But where am I now?"

"You're in between sleep and wake, Mum. Delirious. In 1984. Ryan, he stabbed you in Gene's house, in the chest. Then he threw you into the river. A rescue squad found you, hanging onto a buoy that someone had lost in the water."

"No," Alex said, confused. "He stabbed my leg. I broke my ankle trying to run. I was stuck in a tomb. Michael's friend was going to save me."

"That's the trouble. Because your brain wasn't responding properly in a coma, you believed the world you were in was real."

"So all of it, Michael, Ryan, the tomb, it was all a dream?"

Molly nodded. "You've been unconscious or delirious for days. Everything has been a dream. Didn't you wonder how you saw Gene find your jacket in the river? Your necklace in the rubbish bin? Or him ringing Annie? Or Keats, trying to take over again?"

"I dreamt him doing that?" Alex breathed.

"Your subconscious hears bits and pieces. Then it moulds them into your own story."

"And what about the visions? Mum and Dad all burnt? Ryan and the clown and Keats?

"Like I said, you're starting to hover between sleep and wake. Stuck in the middle, in a delirium. The dreams are when you are closer to waking. Part of your subconscious is telling you to not go anywhere, to go back to your coma where you are safe, where Ryan can't get you."

"But he can."

Molly just shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Deep inside, your subconscious knows that your coma is a fake world, and it can change it easily. No matter what, it thinks, when you wake up, Ryan will be out there. There is no changing reality."

Molly looked down at her watch. "I've gotta go. I've only got so much time allotted me. Technically, crossovers aren't permitted."

"Then why are you here? And why didn't you end up in Gene's world?"

"I'm here to explain. Someday, maybe you'll be summoned to do the same. And I didn't end up there because I had fewer issues with the world when I died. I had no one to fight for, no boyfriend, family, anything. Evan died when I was eighteen. And I had accepted your death. You still hadn't accepted your parents'. You repressed it."

Alex nodded. "Will I ever see you again?"

"Possibly. Never say never. But now, you've gotta wake up Mum. Properly. Gene's been worried sick. He's heard all sorts of words this past week he doesn't exactly understand, but knows is bad. 'Organ failure. Moderate coma. Narrowly missed the aorta. Lymphangitis. Septicaemia. Put his worries to rest Mum...or you could stay here, in this world until you die in 1984 again. But there is nothing beyond that world. When you're dead there, your chances are over. You're done."

Alex nodded as Molly started to fade from her vision..

"You'll forget all about this," she said. "Gene'll explain it all again if you decide to wake up."

Alex waved, wishing she could join Molly, but knowing Gene needed her more. The only problem was, she had no idea how to wake up. Sam had faded back into 2006. She had never gotten back to 2008. Was she just going to gradually fade, having nightmares until she finally woke up in 1984?

Alex was growing tired. Little flickers of her life in the eighties were still showing, but they had slowed. Alex felt slightly guilty. She had abandoned Molly. Molly had gotten killed.

Alex knew that may have happened even if she was alive. And if Alex was alive when Molly was killed, Alex would have ended up with Gene anyway, just probably in a later time. It would be for the better if she stayed with Gene. Molly was happy. She was grown up now.

Alex felt another surge of guilt that she was not there to see it. Poor Evan. He must have had his hands full. Another grieving, orphaned child to deal with. Still, he would have dealt with Molly wonderfully, just like he had done with her.

Darkness started to swirl around her. The flashes had stopped, leaving the room in complete silence. It was comfortably warm, causing her to start drifting off into sleep. Maybe, when she woke up, she'd see Gene. That was all she could hope.

**to be continued**


	11. Delirium

**Thank you to those that reviewed the last chapter! **

**Chapter 11: Delirium**

Gene sat next to Alex's bed, like he had done faithfully for the past several days. After he had found Alex's jacket in the river, he had rung the search crews immediately. People were sweeping the river within the hour, but it was still another several before she was found, unconscious and barely breathing.

CPR had been administered until the paramedics arrived and took over. It had been several hours before Gene had heard anything, pacing anxiously in the waiting room as Ray, Chris, Shaz, and later, Annie, arrived. He was surprised at Annie's appearance, but Ray explained later that he had rung her.

"She's got something in her that helps us all calm down," Ray had said.

When Gene was finally permitted to see her, he had been amazed. He had known she was too thin, but now, she looked almost emaciated. The oxygen mask swamped her face, and her arms were as skinny as the tubes she was connected to.

"We're going to have to keep a close eye on her," the doctor had said. "Since she's in such a severe stage of starvation, anything could happen."

Gene angrily cursed Ryan, who had escaped yet again. The worst part was that CID was not allowed to handle it, as the Super felt they were too close to the case. Gene didn't care. He'd hunt the bastard down and kill him.

Alex was comatose for two days. During that time, her temperature had risen steadily. The doctors grew concerned as soon as it was reported that her temperature was 38, but it continued to climb until it levelled out at 40.5.

"That's with a medication that is supposed to bring temperature down," the doctor said. "We're going to have to revert to mechanical methods. We have to keep it down, or she's at risk for heat stroke."

Soon after, Alex had cold, wet, cloths on her, trying to keep her cool.

On the second day, the oxygen mask was removed, the doctors confident that she would be able to breathe on her own.

The third day she had woken, but she was extremely confused. As soon as her eyes had opened, she had tried to move out of her bed.

"_No, Alex," the nurse said gently. "You're not ready to do that yet."_

_Alex looked over towards them finally, and her eyes widened in terror. _

"_Mum," she whispered. "Can't be you."_

_Gene stood next to the nurse and decided to try and calm her down. "Relax, Alex. She's trying to help you."_

_She moaned and tried to push the nurse's hands away as Chris entered the room, grapes in hand._

"_How is she?" he asked, worried. Gene merely shook his head. Chris approached the bed, watching._

"_Evan," she whimpered. _

"_Alex," Gene said as the nurse put another compress on her head. "Do you recognise anyone at all?"_

"_Dad," she replied. "But you're dead."_

_Gene sighed and shook his head. He pulled out his flask and took a long drink. The nurse bumped him accidentally and he spilled scotch down his shirt._

"_Alex," the nurse said, unaware that she had spilt single malt scotch down Gene's shirt and that he was about to yell at her for wasting it. "Can you tell me where you are?"_

"_Gene." Her eyes closed. "Want Gene," she murmured._

"_Bolly," he said. _

_Alex gave no sign of hearing him as her breathing evened and the nurse walked out of the room. _

Every time she had woken since, she had been the same way. The day before, she was as confused as ever, making Gene feel like she'd never recover.

"_Gene," she said quietly. Gene's heart lifted. He moved closer to the head of the bed. Alex watched him carefully. _

"_Get me Gene Hunt," she said to him. Gene's heart sunk. She still didn't know him. _

"_Bolly, it's me," he said. "It's Gene."_

_She peered at him untrustingly, staring straight into his eyes, her fevered hands on his cheeks, stabilising his face before lying back down on the bed. The hazel still looked at him cautiously._

"_Where am I?"_

"_In the hospital, Bolls," Gene replied slowly. This wasn't the first time she'd asked him. It wasn't the tenth, either._

"_Why?"_

"_You had an infection."_

_Alex shook her head. "I don't believe you. I want Gene. He'll tell me the truth."_

"_Bolly..."_

"_Don't call me that. Only Gene calls me that. I don't want it spoilt by a wanker like you."_

_Fury was growing in her eyes. Suddenly, Ray walked back in. It was the first time since the day she'd been admitted, and he looked extremely uncomfortable. _

_Alex turned towards Ray and smiled. "Gene," she said. _

_Gene felt angry. He knew Alex wasn't in control of her brain functions at the moment, but the jealousy had kicked in. _

_Ray looked helplessly at Gene. _

"_They say she may be like this several more days," Gene said dryly, as Alex started to babble to Ray. _

"_Get him out, Gene," she said to Ray, pointing at Gene._

"_Alex," Ray said gently. "I can't do that. He rescued you."_

_Alex considered this a moment before turning back to Gene and giving him a grudging thank-you._

"_Welcome, Bolls," he sighed._

The doctors had said that once her temperature got below about 39, her delirium should cease. Gene could only hope it would be soon.

Alex stirred, murmuring Molly's name. Gene wondered what happened to Molly. Alex had talked like she needed to get back to her, was desperate to get back to her when she first arrived. But slowly, mentions of Molly ceased, and now Gene only heard about Molly occasionally when Alex was sleeping.

Alex stilled as Annie approached her bed.

"How is she?"

"Same as ever," Gene replied. "When she comes round she doesn't understand what's going on. Her temperature is staying up. Recognises Ray as me, tells me to get out."

Annie shook her head. "You know that shouldn't upset you like it is, Gene."

Gene just stared at her. He knew he shouldn't. But how would she feel if Sam had been like this, and he had thought Phyllis was Annie?

Annie looked at Alex. "She's so skinny."

"She wouldn't eat after Burns escaped. At all."

"Did you push it?"

"Yes, but d'you remember how she was the first time you met her? That's how she was. The only difference was that she was still going to work and talking. She didn't look me in the eye, her eyes looked like she was panicking, and she sure as shit didn't make her presence known. Three weeks ago, even that stopped. She wasn't sleeping at all, she refused to speak unless directly spoken to. You know as well as I do that her eating came last in her progress."

Annie said nothing, just nodding.

"She ate that day," Gene said. "I don't know what happened to her, but she rung me and told me she was coming into work. It's a bloody good job she did, otherwise I wouldn't have noticed anything 'til I went to check on her at lunch. Course, Burns might have rung me at work anyway. He likes a bit of a show."

They both lapsed into silence, watching Alex as she stirred again and opened her eyes. "Molly," she said staring at Annie.

Annie looked at Gene in confusion. "Molly?"

Alex nodded.

"Her daughter," Gene responded quietly, watching Alex carefully. "I don't know what happened to her, but I think she's dead and Alex can't get over it."

Alex struggled to sit up in her bed. Gene rested his hand on her right shoulder, gently pushing her back down onto her pillows.

"No, Alex," he murmured.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?" Annie asked.

"I didn't mean to die."

"You didn't die, Bolls," Gene said, frowning and unscrewing the cap for his flask of whiskey.

Alex looked at him, her eyes wide, nodding. "I died, Gene."

Gene nearly dropped his whiskey.

"You recognise me, Bolls?"

She nodded, starting to look around for something.

"What do you need, Alex?" Annie asked.

Alex frowned at her. "Molly, don't call me Alex. I'm your mum. Where'd you put Sam Tyler's file?"

"What?" Annie asked, confused.

"Molls, I know you were reading his file the day I was shot. I caught you. Where'd you put it?"

"Why did you have a file on Sam...err...Mum?" Annie asked.

Alex sighed. "Stop playing games. You threw it in the back. Layton was there. They must have found my car. What'd they do with Sam's file? I want to show it to Gene, show him what Sam said."

"Alex," said Gene gently, seeing the hurt in Annie's eyes as Alex talked about him. Alex looked back at him.

"I don't need to see what he said. I'm probably better off that way."

Alex nodded and turned back to Annie. "I want that file returned to me, Molly. You can't go running around with confidential police files."

Annie nodded. "Right away," she said quietly.

"Good," Alex said, relaxing. A few moments later, she drifted back off to sleep.

Annie let out a breath.

"That's how she's been since she woke up," Gene said. "It's the fever. It's messing with her mind."

Annie nodded. "Why would she have Sam's file?"

"I have no idea. Like I said last year, she said he had undergone trauma."

"Sam never went through any trauma! Except...he was a bit odd when he first arrived, wasn't he?"

"That's putting it lightly."

"I just put it off as a concussion. I thought he'd be fine. D'you think he went to see her?"

"It'd make sense. She didn't know anything after that day on the train when Sam nearly left us. She only knew he almost left us. She didn't know he had come back."

"This makes no sense. Do you think he told her about that, and then just stopped seeing her?"

"I have no idea. I've found it best to ignore her when she goes into that psycho-bollocks. The whole, 'I'm from the future, I have to get back' thing got old fast."

"Sam did the same thing, though. He always said he had to get back to someone named Mya. He said it was his girlfriend from thirty years in the future. Then after the incident on the train he just stopped. There was no more talk about the future, no more talk of Mya."

Gene opened his mouth to respond, but was stopped when a nurse approached. "We're going to get her vitals."

Gene merely nodded. Her blood pressure was checked as each shift came in and at noon and midnight, as was her pulse and the number of breaths she was taking a minute. However, her temperature was being taken every two hours in an attempt to keep it down if it started to rise even a tenth of a degree.

The nurse started to gently shake Alex awake. Alex started, eyes darting around the room in confusion.

"Alex, I'm going to take your temperature," the nurse said calmly. Alex stared at her, confused, but did as she was instructed. As the thermometer was removed from her mouth, she spoke.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital Alex," the nurse said kindly.

"Why is Pete here?"

"Who's Pete, Alex?"

"My ex-husband. Him," she said furiously, pointing at Gene.

Gene just shook his head.

"Get out," Alex said. "Get him out." Alex started to try and get out of bed, her hands in fists.

"I'm gonna go for a fag," Gene said to Annie. Annie nodded, calming the now extremely agitated Alex. The nurse walked out behind him.

"There's good news," she said in a low voice. "Her temperature was down slightly. Hopefully it'll start to break soon."

"Yeah," Gene said. "I'm sick of being called Molly."

The nurse smiled softly. "Or Pete?"

"Yeah."

"She'll come round soon. As soon as her temperature goes down a little more, she'll know who you are."

The nurse walked off. Gene stared after her.

_She'll know who I am, sure, but will I know her? Or will she be someone completely different again?_ Gene thought to himself.

Worries plaguing him, he walked outside for the blissful taste of nicotine, hoping to God her fever would break soon.

**to be continued**


	12. Ultimatum

**Thanks to all my reviewers and readers. And thanks to Bloo, for giving me lovely ideas.**

**Chapter 12: Ultimatum **

She knew there was something she had seen that she should remember, but she couldn't. It had to do with a young girl, a young woman, but Alex could not think of what she was supposed to remember. All she knew was that she was hot. Way to hot. Alex realised that she had a sheet on her and kicked it off, trying to feel cool air.

Something cold was placed on her forehead. It felt wonderful. Alex relaxed momentarily as she let the cool take effect. However, it only helped her forehead. She knew that the rest of her body was sweating profusely. It had to be, as hot as she was.

She felt someone's fingers in her hair. Who was that? Shouldn't she be dead or something? Alex remembered Ryan, lunging at her with a knife, stabbing deep into her leg...No wait. It was her chest.

She was confused. Had Ryan stabbed her in the leg or in the chest? The girl she had seen told her which version was correct, but Alex could not remember. She remembered being carried, thrown. She had gotten wet. And it was painful. She remembered reaching for something, anything, to keep her afloat.

Had she been rescued then?

Sounds started to make more sense. Two or three people were talking. Alex stopped, just listening, trying to figure out who they were.

"...Fever's breaking. We'll see if this helps the delirium," said a man's voice she didn't recognise. Delirium? What was going on? Were they talking about her?

"You think it should though, right?" said another man's, laced with worry. Alex knew this voice. She thought back to where she had heard it before. She knew it was one she heard quite often, and the emotions stirred up in her were enough to tell her that he was important.

"It could be a few minutes after she's conscious before she's fully alert, but yes, I am fairly certain that the delirium should disappear along with the fever."

"Good," said the second man. "Just hang on Bolls."

Suddenly, the voice clicked in her head.

"Gene," she tried to say, but it came out mumbled and distorted. "Gene," she said again, slightly louder.

The conversation stopped.

"Bolly?" Gene questioned.

"Gene," she said again, trying to open her eyes. Alex felt a hand slip into hers.

"Here, Bolly," came his beloved voice, along with a gentle squeeze of her hand.

Alex smiled, and forced her eyes open once again. She looked over to Gene, who was looking at her with a mix of relief and apprehension.

"I'm your doctor," said a man standing at the end of her bed. "I'm going to ask you a few questions, just to see how things are. First off, what's your name?"

Alex looked at the man. What a ridiculous question. He had her chart. He should know. "Alex Drake," she answered slowly, as if talking to an idiot.

The doctor smiled, making a note. "Can you tell me the date?"

Alex thought a moment. This one was tougher. It had been the seventeenth of October when Ryan had shown up at her door. She was in the hospital now, but had no idea how long she'd been there. "End of October?" she guessed.

The doctor made another note. "It's the twenty-fifth today, just to let you know. One last thing. Can you tell me where you are?"

"In a hospital," said Alex flatly.

"Can you tell me the city?"

"London."

"Very good," the doctor said, making a third note in the chart.

"Why am I here?" she asked, annoyed and starting to grow tired.

The doctor started to explain what happened. After a few moments, Alex started to tune out his long winded explanation, knowing Gene would be able to give her a shorter, Gene-style one later. As her mind wandered, she started taking an inventory. All fingers, toes, they still seemed to be there. Her chest hurt badly, and her head ached.

Alex realised it had grown silent and looked back at the doctor, who was watching her expectantly.

"Err, right. Thanks."

The doctor nodded and walked away, leaving her and Gene alone. Gene was still holding her hand gently. She looked over at him and he gave her a small smile.

"So what happened?" Alex asked. "How did you find me?"

"You didn't come into work. I went home to check on you. Burns rang me there. He told me to check the Thames. I found your jacket. We searched the river for over an hour before we found you. You were clinging to a log...Well, you'd passed out on it. They did CPR from the time you were on the bank until the time the paramedics showed up. You actually saved yourself by the way you laid on the log. You put pressure on the wound, slowing the bleeding. Otherwise you would have been dead."

"Have I been in a coma for that long?"

"No. You got an infection in your wound cause it was open for so long. Twat of a doctor said what it was, but I can't remember...Lifagitis or something... Anyway, that became something else. The wanker said it was an infection in your blood, but I can't be arsed to remember the proper name."

Alex nodded. For some reason this all sounded familiar. Where had she heard it before? Random words popped into her head. _Lymphangitis. Septicaemia. _

"I must have heard some of this somewhere," Alex said.

"You were awake when the doctor was explaining it to me. But you were looking for Molly."

"Molly," Alex breathed.

"What happened to her Alex?" Gene asked seriously. "Really?"

Alex didn't understand how, but an explanation immediately formed in her head. "She died. In a robbery attempt."

Alex felt tears forming in her eyes. "I left her by herself. She was _twelve_. And now she's gone, Gene."

Gene wrapped his arms around her, letting her sob into his shoulder. Eventually, her sobs subsided and she pulled away.

"Ryan," she said. "What happened to him?"

"He disappeared. There are people looking for him now."

Alex shook her head. "They won't find him. He's going to come after me again, Gene."

"I'm not going to let him get to you, Bolly."

Alex smiled softly. "It doesn't matter Gene. You're merely a small obstacle to him. I'm not trying to be a defeatist, but you know that's the truth as well as I."

The conversation fell silent. Alex felt herself starting to drift off back to sleep again. She heard someone walking in. The two talked for a moment in low whispers for a moment.

"Bolly," said Gene, startling her. Annie was standing next to him, both of them wearing determined looks on their faces.

Alex looked at him. "Yeah?"

"Things are going to change now," he said seriously, his gaze piercing hers.

"What do you mean?"

"The doctors said that the only reason your infection was so bad was because of a weakened immune system. They said that your state of starvation weakened it."

Alex looked down as she realised what he was talking about. "Gene," she started, but he interrupted.

"I know you ate that day that Burns got you. But the fact is, you've been basically anorexic for the past year and nothing's been done about it. You are going to start eating, and you are going to see someone."

Alex shook her head. "I'm not going to see anyone."

"_Why?_ I mean, I know you're a psycho-wotsit yourself, but why can't you go see someone?"

Alex stared at him. "I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth."

Gene looked right back at her. "You know why they did, Alex. And if you refuse to see someone, we'll have to resort to things no one wants to happen.

"What are you talking about?"

Both Gene and Annie were silent for a moment and the realisation started to sink in.

"A mental hospital?" Alex asked, horrified.

"We don't want to," Annie said. "But the fact of the matter is, Alex, you are essentially harming yourself. And this is only as a last resort."

Gene was watching her carefully. "Those are your choices, Alex. See someone, or we will have to section you. You aren't getting any further on your own."

"You can't do it," Alex said. "You have nothing to section me for."

"Eating disorder," Annie piped up quietly. "You can be detained under section two of the mental health act."

"No," Alex said. "You won't do it. You'd have to kill me first."

Gene winced at her choice of words. "Alex, this is only an extreme option. If you agree to see someone we don't even have to consider it."

Alex was fuming. "Get out," she said.

She saw the rage flare in Gene's eyes before it was replaced by another emotion. Was it disappointment? Whatever it was, it disappeared before she was able to discern it. He stood, looking towards her, expression blank.

"Go to sleep Bolly. Think it over. Because I don't want to send you there anymore than you want to go. But those are your options. That's it."

With that, he left, Annie following behind him.

~(*)~

Gene slumped against the wall as soon as they were out of seeing and hearing distance of Alex.

"We shouldn't have done it today," he said.

"The sooner the better, Gene," Annie said reassuringly. She's going to be in the hospital several more days. This gives her time to fume, to realise it's for the best, and to make a decision."

"But if she doesn't accept..."

"Then she goes. Gene, I know it's hard. I don't want to see her go there any more than you do, but you said it yourself. _She needs help. _ You said that I was the only one she would talk to. I can't stay down here permanently to help her out. I need to go back to Manchester within the week. My DCI wasn't too happy with me staying down here for so long in the first place."

"I could help her," Gene said.

"We discussed this before Gene. You _did._ As much as you could during the past year. But she's going to have to get over her regression again. Sure, she ate that one day. But how much did she eat?"

"One egg was missing," Gene muttered.

"No bread for toast? Nothing else?"

Gene shook his head.

"One egg isn't enough. You know that as well as I."

"I just..."

"You feel guilty."

:"Yes."

"Hopefully, it won't come to her being put in an institution. She'll see reason. Alex Drake seems very logical to me."

"Yeah," Gene muttered. "Logical."

They walked out of the hospital together, both praying that Alex would see sense.

~(*)~

Alex was still annoyed the next morning, but she had started to think more logically. They were right. She did need help. The only reason she refused was because she didn't want to admit it. She was a psychologist. She was better than this.

But the fact of the matter was that she really wasn't. Everyone could be affected, just like doctors could get ill, and police could go to prison.

Alex decided to write a note to Gene. She really didn't want to see him at the moment, but if she gave him the note, he would understand. She had gotten about halfway through when someone approached her bed. Alex looked up, figuring it was a nurse.

A hand covered her mouth, preventing her from screaming. She knocked her glass of water to the floor, where it smashed in several pieces before he caught her flailing hands.

"You survive everything, don't you, whore?" he whispered angrily, picking a large shard of the glass from the floor. He had released her, but Alex couldn't move, couldn't speak. She was too terrified.

"If this doesn't kill you, your life will still be hell. Because you know I will always be waiting for you. I'm not going to stop until you die."

Alex whimpered, but he ignored her. She felt a burning up one of her arms and looked down as the glass opened her forearm, dark red blood running out. Ryan did the same to her other arm, before placing the glass in her hand and smiling.

"Good luck." With that he disappeared as quickly as he came. Alex sat, staring at her arms for several moments, completely frozen. She was clutching the glass in her hand so hard now that it was cutting her palm. Already she was feeling dizzy.

She heard the sound of boots approaching and looked up as Gene entered. Shock combined with horror on his face as he took in the scene around him. Alex threw away the shard of glass, wanting to tell him what had happened, but it was too late. He had already turned around and walked away.

The room was darkening around her. Alex looked down at her arms once more, the snow white sheets below them stained scarlet. As the blackness took over, she only heard Ryan's voice, laughing at her, mocking her.

"_Only scarlet avenges sable."_

* * *

A/N: Lymphangitis is an infection of the lymph, a fluid which filters toxins out of your body. Septicaemia is an infection of the blood and potentially very deadly.

* * *

**to be continued**


	13. Madness

**Thanks to those that reviewed. It really does mean a lot. **

**Chapter 13: Madness**

"I have all day," the psychologist said, staring at Alex. "All week even. This is my job."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "You have other patients."

The psychologist smiled at her. "I can rearrange my schedule. They aren't going anywhere."

Alex felt anger flare up at the psychologist's flippant remark. She was never going to open up to this woman. She already knew it.

"Tell me about Gene," the psychologist said. Alex refused to think of her as Kate, which is what she had been instructed to call her.

"What's there to tell about? He's an absolute bastard."

"Why? Because he signed your section?"

Alex cocked an eyebrow again. She knew what the psychologist was doing. She was asking close ended questions, trying to get Alex to answer yes or no. Then she would ask Alex to expand on that. Soon, Alex would have poured her whole soul out.

"I'm gonna get out of here," Alex said.

The psychologist looked at her, fake surprise on her face. "Oh?"

"You're not going to find out anything. I'm gonna get out of here without telling you a thing."

"How are you going to do that? You're on a locked unit."

Alex merely smiled. "I'll do it. Just wait."

The psychologist merely nodded and made a note.

"Gonna tell the staff to watch me now?" Alex asked.

"You know, Alex, you're completely different than what I expected," said the psychologist.

"That's a yes then."

"They told me that you were quiet, timid. I've yet to see that."

"That's because I'm _fine._ I'm _not_ suicidal. What happened to me over a year ago, I'm over that."

"Really?"

Alex nodded.

"Tell me then. What happened?"

"Its in your file," Alex replied.

"So? I want to hear it from you."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I've already told you I'm not telling you anything."

Alex had been on the unit for a week now. Every day was the same scenario. The psychologist would come to talk to her, and then Alex would spend the next two hours evading any questions that were asked. She was furious with Gene, and Annie as well. She knew it was Annie who had talked Gene into doing this. She had seen the guilt in Gene's eyes as she had been admitted. Alex had refused to speak to either of them that day, and knew that if either came to visit, she would refuse to see them. She had told them so many times over that it wasn't her that had done it, that she could have never slashed her own wrists. No one believed her. After the half written note to Gene was found, everything she said had been ignored.

The psychologist merely nodded at her statement. "Okay, Alex. We've got another hour left in the session. If you don't want to talk, we don't have to."

Alex folded her arms, wincing as her hands brushed the still raw wounds on her forearms.

"Painful?"

"What do you expect? I had my wrists bloody slashed."

"You didn't do it? Someone else did?"

Alex sighed. "I've told the story one hundred times over. It must be in my chart. But it doesn't matter. No one believes me. I must be mad. Just because I don't want to eat."

Alex was getting angrier and angrier at this woman.

"Of course I'm a nutter. I'm afraid of the man who's tried to kill me on three separate occasions, raped me constantly for six weeks straight, and told me I wasn't allowed to have a name because I was so dirty. And because of what he did, I can't interact with people like I used to. Yes, I am completely mad. No wonder I've been sectioned."

The woman was still sitting across from her calmly. "You know as well as I do that you're not mad, Alex. You're traumatised."

Alex merely sniffed. Now that her rant was over, she was longing even more to get out of this room.

"You're right, you know. Partially, at least. You're over the shock of what happened to you with Ryan Burns. But you still have things to work through Alex."

Alex said nothing, not even looking at the woman. They sat in silence for several more minutes before the woman finally spoke again.

"I think we're done for today," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alex."

Alex said nothing as she stood and left the room. She had to get out of here. She had to find a way.

~(*)~

She sat, picking at the slop they called food in this prison. How did they expect her to eat if they gave her food that was absolute shit? If the idea of Dover Sole could not make her hungry, how could the school quality beef stroganoff?

Alex sighed, ready to just get up and leave. They thought this place would help, but it hadn't. It had just made her far more miserable than she was before.

She was frustrated that the doctors hadn't listened to her, but extremely angry that Gene had flat out refused to.

"_He wouldn't try to come in a hospital, Bolly. There's too many people that might see him here."_

"_But he's changed how he looked! His hair is black now, its longer!"_

"_The colour of someone's hair doesn't change their face. Alex, the sooner you admit to what you did, the faster you'll get out of the hospital."_

"_I will not admit to it. I did not do it. And I am not going to the bloody hospital!"_

He had signed the paper to section her, however. Soon after, she was moved to a mental hospital about half an hour away from where her flat had been. So far the only entertainment she had had was ticking the days away on the calendar, down to day 28, when she would either be sectioned again for six months, or freed from the hellhole.

Alex threw her fork in the cold food in front of her.

"You don't eat anything, do you?" asked a voice from behind her.

Alex started, turning around. A woman about her age was standing behind her, tray of food in hands. The woman had long dark hair pulled back, making her bright blue eyes stand out. Her clothes were baggy and long sleeved, but Alex caught a hint of white of a plaster beneath.

"Not with the crap they give us," Alex said.

The woman laughed and sat down next to her. "I'd agree with that! Jesus, I've only been here two days and already I'd like to find a new cook. I'm Amanda, but I go by Mandy. If I could get the wanker of a therapist to understand that, I might just be able to get out of here faster."

Alex smiled. "I'm Alex," she said. "Mine knows my name, but she's terrible. Not therapeutic at all."

"Yours thinks they know it all?"

"Yep."

"Mine does too. Dunno if that's how all of them are. Never been sectioned before, but they finally decided to throw me in here after I did this... well, I didn't do it. I'm schizophrenic, right? I've been diagnosed with three other personalities. I've got this one, her name is Tina. She did it. She's the suicidal one."

Alex nodded, completely unnerved that the woman had just opened up to her like she did. She was used to people talking to her about their problems, but usually she had to poke and prod to get information from anyone.

Mandy's eyes widened as she realised what she had just said.

"I'm sorry! I must have run you off!"

Alex shook her head. "No, it's fine, Mandy."

"Really? Usually people freak out when they find out I'm four different people."

"No, it really is okay. I'm actually a psychologist...well was. Not sure if I'd be allowed to be one now that I'm in the madhouse."

Mandy's jaw dropped. "You're a psychologist? But..."

Alex shook her head. "It's just like police being put in prison. They think they're immune to the filth that the citizens can get into, but they're not. They want it too."

Mandy nodded her head. "Why are you in here then?"

"I was in the hospital, and a man slashed my wrists. When my boss came in, he thought I had done it myself."

Alex looked down, horrified that she had just told this to a patient. Surely this was just like you saying you were innocent when you were in prison?

"But why would he slash your wrists? Did he want to put you here?"

"He wanted me dead. But for some reason I survive everything he's done to me."

"Everything?"

"That was the third time he tried to kill me." Alex stopped. She couldn't be telling Mandy all this. Why was she opening up to a total stranger?

Suddenly the visions flashed in her head. Ryan laughing at her. Him cutting her wrists. Gene's horrified face. The disappointment in Annie's. The doctors, coming in to investigate whether or not she was truly mad.

Alex stood suddenly and ran from the table. She couldn't take this place anymore. She had been here for a week too long. She wasn't mad. She wasn't suicidal. She had to get out. She didn't belong here!

Alex ran down the corridor towards the door that kept her imprisoned. She had seen it every single day, but had not had the courage yet to approach it. Alex saw the nurses stiffen as she ran. She knew already that this was going to end badly, but she had to try.

Alex started pounding on the door, jiggling the handle, not caring at the other patients that were staring at her. She felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her waist, pinning her arms to her side. She kicked her legs as the person holding her lifted her off the ground and started backing up slowly. She started to throw her weight around, but it didn't matter. The person behind her had too strong of a grip on her. She was slowly carried into a room that reminded her very much of the interview rooms at Fenchurch East, except in place of the table and chairs, a bed sat. It looked like one that was in every doctor's office across the country.

They put Alex on the bed a she continued to struggle against the strong arms that held her. They had moved from her waist to the back of her shoulders, and another pair of hands grabbed her ankles.

Alex felt the stab of a needle. She continued to struggle, however, as whatever sedative they had given her started to take effect. Slowly, the world started to fade and her struggle ceased. She felt the hands release her as her eyes gradually started to close. As the darkness started to surround her, she looked towards the door which was still stood wide open. Gene was in the frame, an expression of absolute pain and disappointment on his face.

~(*)~

"We're not sure what happened," the nurse told him. Gene looked down at Alex's sleeping figure below him. They had moved her into her bed, a more comfortable place than the room they had had her in. "One moment, she was sitting at lunch, the next, she was running down the corridor."

"She's definitely got something that is eating away at her," said the psychologist. "I'm not sure if it's just what happened last year though. I think there's something deeper, that was well hidden until her ordeal."

Gene looked down at Alex's starved face. "She's made no progress whatsoever?" he asked, angry but concerned.

"She's still growing accustomed to being here, Mr. Hunt. It's more difficult for Alex because she's a psychologist herself. She doesn't believe she belongs here, except in my position. She thinks that she doesn't need anyone to share her problems with because she should know how to deal with it."

"Did you learn this all from observation?" Gene asked, annoyed at the psychologists superior tone.

"No, Mr. Hunt," the psychologist said. "I simply put myself in her shoes. If that were to happen to me, that's exactly how I would feel."

"You've done absolutely nothing in a week except for decide how she must feel?" Gene felt his frustration starting to flow. "Good God! She's starving herself, she slashed her own bloody wrists, and you just know that it's difficult for her to be here?"

"Mr. Hunt," started the psychologist calmly.

"No," he said sternly, cutting her off. "You listen to me. You make Bolly better. Within the next three weeks. I don't want her sectioned again."

"These things take time, Mr. Hunt..."

"Yes! So stop fucking sedating her and start trying to relate, or whatever stuff you psycho-wotsits do!"

"Mr. Hunt," started the psychologist again. It was a bad idea. Gene liked this woman less than he had Caroline Price.

"Get out!" he roared. The psychologist and the nurse fled the room. Gene sat down next to Alex, holding her hand gently.

"Every time I see you you're bloody unconscious," he said softly. "I know you like attention Bolls, but this is getting a bit extreme."

Alex didn't stir, the sedative still clearly working.

"C'mon Bolly. Get better. I want you back. I want _Alex_ back. Find your inner posh mouthy tart."

Gene stared at her, still regretting giving in to Annie's idea and sending her here. Though, after she slashed her wrists, he had had no choice.

Gene sighed. Would she ever get better?

**to be continued**


	14. Believing

**Thank you to all those who reviewed last chap!**

**Chapter 14: Believing**

Alex blearily opened her eyes. There was no confusion as she opened them. She knew exactly where she was, and why she was so tired. She knew however, that she needed to plan. Trying to escape out of the front door was not going to get her anywhere but back in this bed, waking up from sedatives.

Alex started as she heard the rustle of a newspaper. She looked over to her right. There was someone sitting next to her. One look at the boots told her who it was. She remembered now, staring into Gene's eyes as she slowly fell into unconsciousness. She remembered the expression on his face. The mixture of horror and disappointment.

Her immediate feeling was one of relief that he was here, but it was soon replaced by fury. How dare he come visit her after putting her in here? She knew he was trying to make up for it, but she didn't care. At the end of the day, he was still going to leave her here, still going to believe she was making up the story about Ryan.

She lay still, not saying anything, not wanting him to notice her and start talking. She closed her eyes as the paper started to lower, concentrating on making her breathing even and slow.

"You were always shit at pretending to be asleep, Bolls," his voice said. Alex didn't move.

"I see your eyes moving. Cut the crap."

Alex still said nothing, instead rolling her back towards him and staring in the opposite direction.

"So this is how it's going to be now? You're not even going to look at me?" he asked her. His voice was sarcastic and very much Gene, but at the same time there was a concerned undertone to the question.

Gene switched sides of the bed, putting himself right in her sightline. Alex didn't bother to move this time, knowing that he'd keep moving until she stopped. She stared at him, making sure to keep her face blank.

"Bolly. Just talk to me."

"You never wanted me to speak before," Alex said flatly.

"When I don't have you harping at me every single moment, it gets too quiet."

"Why should I tell you anything? You won't believe me anyway."

Alex could tell this stung him and she felt an inner satisfaction. She didn't show it on her face, however, making sure to stay emotionless, to show him that she wasn't bothered by him anymore.

"I know you're mad at me about putting you in here, but the fact is..."

"The fact is, I told you the truth," Alex said, cutting him off. "And the other fact is, I'm not mad at you. I'm done with you."

Gene paused, looking at her. "Done with me?"

"I trusted you over everyone. If you can't believe me, then what's the point?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's the point of me getting out of here for you? You know, that day that Ryan stabbed me, I ate, I took the chain off my neck because of you. I wanted to get better for _you. _But if you don't trust me, if you treat me like a madwoman, then what's the point? I'm done. With you and everyone else."

Gene just stared at her throughout her speech, a mix of sadness and pain in his eyes. Alex continued, ignoring it.

"And yes. I know how that sounded, Gene. And no. I am not now, nor have I ever been, suicidal. Except for those six weeks in the flat last year, I have never considered killing myself. No matter what you think."

"Alex..."

"Just get out Gene. And don't come back."

"Bolls," he said, his voice desperate.

"_Out, _Gene."

Gene stood, and walked out the door stiffly. Alex waited until his footsteps faded and rolled onto her other side, finally letting the tears stream down her face.

~(*)~

"Tell me about Gene."

Alex stared at the clock. Why did it always go so slow for these two hours? It had been a week since she had sent Gene away, but he hadn't given up. He had tried to come back every single day, but Alex refused to see him.

"What about him?" Alex asked defensively.

"Why won't you see him?"

"Why see a person who doesn't believe what I say?"

"Alex, we've been over this. Lying because you regret doesn't change what happened."

"I know."

"Then why don't you tell us what really happened?"

"I did."

"Alex, you were caught with the glass in your hand. The hospital was searched and Ryan Burns was nowhere to be found."

"So what you see, you believe?"

"What?"

"Because I was seen with the glass in my hands, you believe I cut myself. Because Ryan Burns wasn't seen, you don't believe in him being there."

The therapist nodded her head. "Exactly."

Alex smiled gently, almost viciously, going in for the kill.

"The problem is, seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing."

"What? I'm not sure I understand where you're going, Alex."

"You believe that if evidence points towards the fact, then that fact must be true. But I know from working in the police force, from all the cases I've worked on, that what evidence points to isn't always fact. Sometimes it's planted. Then you have to believe in your gut. You use your belief, and it does prove to be fact. Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing."

Alex stood, smiling at the therapist who was opening and shutting her mouth like a goldfish, completely dumbfounded.

"I think that completes our session for the day," Alex said sweetly, sweeping out of the room before the therapist could say another word.

~(*)~

Shaz typed her report, ever aware of the Guv staring angrily out of his office. He had been in an awful mood ever since the day after Alex had woken up. Only she, Chris, and Ray knew what had really happened and where Alex was right now. The Guv had told them under no uncertain terms that if anyone else found out her whereabouts, they would be in hospital themselves.

Shaz thought it was odd that the Ma'am had been sectioned. She just couldn't believe that Alex Drake would do that to herself, even under the circumstances. The Guv had said that she was a new person, that she'd never be the same. Shaz didn't believe that. Alex was still Alex. Her thought processes were still the same. The problem with her for the first few months was that the shock had still not worn off. Shaz was certain that the trauma Alex was experiencing was nowhere near as bad as people thought it was. In fact, they had probably traumatised her more by sectioning her.

"Lunchtime!" the Guv bellowed angrily, making everyone jump before he stormed out. Shaz knew that he would be going to see Alex. She waited for half an hour before she made her way over to the hospital where Alex was being held. She had learned that Alex was refusing to see Gene from an overfriendly nurse who had chatted with her the last time she had come to visit. Alex had been in a session with the therapist, so Shaz had decided to come back today.

Sure enough, as the taxi approached the building, Shaz saw a streak of red start barrelling down the street. Happy that she didn't have to deal with the Guv, she paid the fare and walked up to Alex's ward.

A disapproving nurse opened the door. "We don't allow visitors after seven."

"I know," Shaz said, speaking fast. "But I'm here to see Alex Drake, and I'm a police officer, and the Guv doesn't let us off until half six sometimes and..."

The nurse silenced her with a look before breaking into a wide smile. "I'll take you to her room. I've got no guarantee she'll let you see her."

Shaz merely nodded, following the woman to Alex's room. There was a figure in the bed, unmoving, her whole body turned away from the door.

"Alex," said the nurse. Her tone was so sweet it made Shaz's stomach turn. The figure didn't move an inch.

"Alex, sweetheart, you have a visitor," the nurse continued in the sickeningly sweet voice. "She said that she really wanted to talk to you."

Finally the figure stirred, the head moving up a little. "She?" asked Alex's voice, weak and miserable.

"Ma'am, it's me. Shaz. I've missed you."

"Trying to see if I'm really mad or not?" Alex questioned sharply, still not turning to look at her.

"No, ma'am. I really just miss talking to you."

Alex sighed. "If you really want to."

The nurse left, beaming. Shaz moved over to the chair by Alex's bed. Alex was in the middle of propping herself up on the pillows.

"Did you decide to come and question me about why I decided to try and kill myself as well?" Alex asked bitterly. Her hair was lank and dull, and her skin was stretched tightly over her cheek bones. Her eyes didn't glow like they used and showed no expressions whatsoever. There was an air of bitterness that hung around her that made the air in the room heavy.

"I don't think you did," Shaz blurted.

"I thought it was the general consensus that I was a liar and a nutter."

"Sometimes you have to go against the popular belief, ma'am."

Alex smiled, but it didn't reach her shadowed eyes. "You really believe me?" she asked, her voice one of a child that wanted to hope, but couldn't.

Shaz nodded. "I've never known you to be suicidal ma'am. The days after...after what he did to you in hospital," she stumbled, not sure how to say it, "you were angry, sure, but there wasn't an air of regret around you. Usually people who are failed suicide attempts either regret the fact that they did it or the fact that they didn't succeed. You had neither. I don't know why Annie didn't pick up on that. She's a trained psychologist, after all."

Alex broke into a huge smile, wrapping her bony arms around Shaz's shoulders. "Thank you," Alex whispered.

Shaz hugged Alex back, waiting until they broke apart before she continued. "I don't think you needed to be sectioned ma'am, but I do agree that you need to see _someone_. I'm not trying to dictate what you do, far from it. But I think that you have ghosts, ma'am, that you need to talk to someone about. I mean, if I had gone through a tenth of what you did last year, I would have needed to. But you, you dealt with it. I've always admired how strong you were. Going to testify when you knew Burns would be there, only having Annie to talk to for a few weeks, and you were still getting better quickly. Maybe not as quickly as you or the Guv would have hoped, but better than I ever would have doing what you did. But Ma'am, there's a limit to what even you can do. You've got to talk to someone."

"I'm not ever getting out of here, Shaz. The therapist pretty much said so herself."

Shaz smiled gently. "Talk to the Guv, ma'am. He's acting as your 'nearest relative.' He can discharge you. Do it quickly. If it's too much longer, they may very well move you to a section three and then he can be overruled by a doctor."

"He doesn't want me out of here. He sectioned me in the first place," Alex argued bitterly.

"Promise him you'll talk to someone. He's been more of a miserable bastard since you were sectioned."

"I'd do anything to get out of here," she breathed. "But...he still thinks that I cut my own wrists. As far as he's concerned, I belong here."

Shaz smiled gently. "No ma'am. He's regretted sending you here from day one. The only reason he hasn't discharged you yet is because he's afraid of what you'll do when you are."

"Because he really thinks I..."

"Yes," Shaz interrupted. "But we're going to prove to him that you didn't."

"How?"

"It'll be a process," she admitted. "But...eat. Show them you're trying to get better first. Then when the Guv comes storming up tomorrow they can give him a happy report. He'll be easier to persuade with good reports."

Alex nodded, her face one of a child's. "They usually ask me if I want a sandwich or something before I got to sleep, just cause I never eat anything and they're afraid I'm hungry."

"Don't you get hungry?"

"Not anymore," Alex admitted truthfully. "That's why it's so easy. Sometimes, I just...forget."

"Ma'am?"

"Yes, Shaz?"

"Thanks for listening to me and not getting mad."

Alex smiled. "It's different coming from you, Shaz. I don't know why, but it is."

The nurse bustled in the room, looking at Shaz. "I'm sorry, I've got to make you leave. Visiting hours were over nearly an hour and a half ago."

Shaz nodded, standing. "Bye, Ma'am."

Alex stood, giving Shaz another hug. "Bye Shaz. Come back and visit soon."

Shaz started to exit, listening as the nurse started to talk to Alex.

"You didn't eat much at dinner tonight. Would you like a sandwich or something?"

"Yes," Alex said. "I think so."

Shaz caught a glimpse of the nurses shocked expression before she exited out of the unit. Maybe Alex would be out soon. Then life could return to normal.

**to be continued**


	15. At 1st I thought Death was like Nebraska

**Thanks to all who have reviewed!**

**Chapter 15: At First I Thought Death was Like Nebraska  
**

Alex was sat next to Mandy, with whom she had become good friends. They both had a tray of food in front of them, and for the first time, Alex was actually eating her food. Mandy had questioned her about her eating all of a sudden, and Alex had told her about the conversation she had with Shaz the night before.

She just hoped that Shaz was right. If Gene ended up sectioning her again, after she had shown that she _was_ trying to get better, she might not be able to continue in her progress. She had lost everything several times over in her life, and Alex didn't know if she could deal with one more time.

"Who's that?" Mandy asked, pointing to the other side of the room. The nurse was walking in with a well dressed woman who looked around the room expectantly.

"No clue. Not one of us," Alex said, spooning another bite of oatmeal into her mouth.

"But it's too early for visitors. They don't allow them till afternoon."

Alex merely shrugged. "Maybe someone's getting discharged?"

"We would have heard about it. You know how us loonies are. We celebrate as soon as we have a date."

Alex laughed. "True. Well, you've shot down all my ideas."

"Maybe it's a new therapist?"

"We can only hope."

It was Mandy's turn to laugh. However, the laughter fell short as the woman and the nurse approached their table.

"Alex!" the woman cried, running over to hug her.

"Do I know you?" Alex asked.

The woman laughed. "I know we had our differences in the past, Ally, but really, you don't have to stay mad at me!"

Alex pushed the woman off, extremely confused. Mandy was staring at the woman like she had sprouted a second head.

"We didn't realise you had a sister, Alex," said the nurse. "In that case, Mr. Hunt had no right to sign your section. Therefore, its void, and you are free to go."

The woman squealed and hugged Alex again, who stood, dumbfounded. "Ally, let's go pack your things! I bet you're just dying to get out of here."

She started tugging on Alex's arm. "Can you hang on a second?" Alex asked. "Mary, will you just take her to my room? I'll be there in a moment." The nurse nodded, the woman following behind her.

"Well that was a stroke of luck," Mandy said bitterly.

"She's not my sister," Alex whispered. "I don't know who she is, but you know as well as I do that they won't believe me."

"What are you talking about Alex? She looks like you!"

"I have no idea how she did it, Mandy. But I promise you. I was an only child and my parents were killed when I was eight. I was raised by my godfather. I didn't have any cousins or anything. Something's going on here that isn't right."

Mandy just looked at her. "If you see Gene," Alex said, starting to scribble on a napkin, "give him this."

She gave Mandy the note who took it numbly.

"Bye Mandy," Alex said. "I want to see you again, but preferably not here, okay?"

Mandy just stared as Alex walked out of the room. Alex walked quickly down the corridor, confused. Who was this woman? She knew she didn't have a sister. Everyone knew she was alone in the world.

Alex approached her room, hearing the woman's loud cheery voice talking to the nurse.

"I was in Canada. A mate of a mate heard what had happened, and it reached me. As soon as I heard, I came here and had to get her out. Alex has always had a flair for the dramatics, ever since mum died when we were kids."

Alex walked in to find her bag already packed. The nurse was holding a clipboard. "You're sister's already signed the discharge form, Alex. You're free to go."

Alex felt her hand being grabbed by the woman and was led down the corridor to the door that locked her in. She saw Mandy standing down the hall from her, just watching. Then Alex was tugged out, and the door slammed behind her.

"Well, the difficult part is over now, Alex," the woman said.

"I'm sorry, but _who are you?"_

"All in good time."

They were approaching a taxi now. The woman slid in the backseat, Alex following behind her.

Alex couldn't take it any longer as the taxi pulled out. "Who are you?"

The taxi turned and stopped, the driver turning around to look at her. "She's helping me, whore," Ryan said happily.

~(*)~

Gene stood at the door of the unit, waiting for someone to let him in. Finally, a nurse came to the door.

"Mr. Hunt," she said disapprovingly, letting him in. "The charge nurse would like to speak to you a moment."

Gene frowned, but followed. The nurse looked up at him, but she was in the middle of dealing with a patient. The patient was a woman, who had long dark hair and baggy clothes.

"Mandy," the nurse said. "It doesn't matter what she told you. Proper documents were given. That _was_ her sister."

The woman named Mandy shook her head and turned, looking at Gene for a moment before her eyes darted away. Her head flashed back, and she stared at him.

"Gene Hunt?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, wondering how she knew his name.

"Alex wanted me to give you this," she said, stuffing a piece of paper in his hand before walking quickly down the corridor.

Gene turned, but the girl was already gone. He turned back to the desk, putting the paper in his pocket. He'd read it only if Alex refused to see him again.

"What did you want?" he asked gruffly.

"Why did you act as Alex's family?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, why did you act as her family on the document for her to be sectioned?"

"Because she doesn't have any other family," Gene explained.

"How do you explain this, then, Mr. Hunt?" asked the nurse, throwing a file in front of him. "A complete family history, including a _sister._"

"Alex always said she was alone," Gene said, confused.

"Be that as it may, Mr. Hunt, the fact of the matter is that Alex Drake has family. And since you are not married to her, nor of any relation, we had no choice but to release her to her sister."

Gene was lost. What the hell was going on? He had a sneaking suspicion that something bad was happening, so he just nodded his head stiffly and started walking back down the corridor. He walked quickly, stuffing his hands into his pocket for his keys, but instead pulling out the paper that the girl had given him earlier.

There was a hastily written note on the napkin, clearly in Alex's handwriting.

_Gene-_

_There's a woman saying she's my sister. I have no family. I don't know who she is. I'm not sure what's going on. Find me. Please._

_Alex_

A chill of foreboding ran down Gene's spine. _Burns,_ he though immediately.

Gene slammed on the pedal of the Quattro, racing towards the station. They'd get Ryan Burns this time. He'd make sure of it.

~(*)~

She was tied to a chair, duct tape over her mouth. Alex was glad she had elected to wear long sleeves, as the rope was having a harder time cutting into her skin. She had no idea what to expect. Ryan had someone on his side now. Would the woman make him have limits? Or would she encourage him along, making the torture ten times worse?

Alex's thoughts were interrupted as a group of people came into the room, surrounding the chairs in a semicircle.

"Brothers and sisters," Ryan said, staring solely at Alex. "Behold, the animal I have spoken of now sits in front of you. Three times, I have tried to save its soul, and three times it has evaded me."

There was a murmur among the group. "Surely, Brother," said the woman who had helped to release her from the hospital, "this means that it is not _just_ an animal. Surely if it has evaded your attempts three times over, it must be a demon?"

A murmur of agreement sounded before another spoke.

"If it truly is a demon, Brothers and Sisters," said a man in the shadows whose voice she recognised, "let me handle it. Let me rid the woman's body of the demon. Then, when the demon is gone, let us teach the woman of the glory of the Lord, of what he has done for her."

Ryan stepped forward, staring at her. "You have my permission," he said. "What do the rest think? Everyone in favour?"

The entire group raised their hand.

"You may exorcise the demon, Brother Keats," Ryan said, backing away as Alex tried to scream through the tape.

"Listen!" said one of the group. "The demon has heard what we are to do! It is trying to escape the woman!"

"Do not worry, Brothers and Sisters!" Keats said loudly. "I can handle this demon! I need you to back out of the room, please. Exorcism is not a pretty sight to see, and we do not want the demon to infest one of us."

The group left the room, leaving Ryan and Keats standing next to each other, both staring at her, their eyes glittering with excitement.

"No Gene to save you now, Alex. Nothing to look forward to but Ryan and me."

"Why are you calling her by her name? She's not human. She doesn't need one."

"She still is, Brother," Keats responded. "The demon has just made her forget."

Alex whimpered, struggling against the ropes that tied her to the chair. Keats walked behind the chair, putting his first two fingers against her temples and pulling her head back. He stared straight down at her, his eyes shining in suppressed delight.

"Alex," he hissed.

Alex felt the strength draining out of her as he continued to stare at her. She closed her eyes, but it did no good. She could still feel his eyes piercing into her. Her muscles grew weaker and weaker until her head was merely hanging over the back of the chair, every breath difficult to retrieve.

Keats forehead met hers gently and though she tried to pull away, she was unable to. "The pain will come, Alex," he whispered. "In the end, you'll beg me to make it stop. And I can. You just have to give up."

The tape was peeled from her mouth. Alex wanted to scream but after the mysterious energy drain Keats had performed, she could not even open her lips.

Keats' thumbs pressed into her eyes, the rest of his fingers digging into the base of her skull. His forehead was still connected to hers.

"Let's start from the beginning, shall we?" She heard Ryan laugh, the whisper of Keats as he started to speak, and then everything fell silent. The pressure was removed from her eyes and the back of her head, and her hands no longer seemed to be tied to the chair she was sitting in. Alex opened her eyes. It seemed like everyone had disappeared. The only light in the room illuminated her chair.

Alex stood cautiously. No one ran to catch her, no one tried to hurt her. She sighed in relief. Alex walked towards the door, hoping that no one would emerge. No one did. She opened it carefully, stepping inside the empty room.

Alex walked to the middle of the room. Suddenly, the door slammed shut. Alex ran to it, but it was locked. The light turned on by itself, illuminating the room around her.

The floors were made of wood, and faded paint was chipping off the walls. There was a large iron ring fastened to the wall, as if to hold something in place. The windows were boarded up and the door opened in.

Alex felt a sinking in her stomach as she realised where she was. It was the flat. She looked down. She was wearing her black nightshirt again, but it was like new. All the buttons were present and there was not a hole or tear to be seen.

The door slammed open. Alex backed towards the wall.

"Animal," Ryan said, his hair ginger once more. "Are you going to obey me? Or are you going to be naughty?"

Alex tried to run. Suddenly the collar appeared in his hand. "Bad animal," Ryan said, forcing her to the ground.

Alex screamed at the top of her lungs before she was silenced by his hand.

"Animals should be seen and not heard," he said, hitching her nightshirt up. "You need an obedience lesson."

Alex felt the hope drain from her once more, hoping, praying, that this time she would die.

* * *

The original title for this chap was "Demons." But I decided to do a shoutout to my state and use the corny line FROM Demons as the chap title. The actual quote is from episode 6 (one of the two i watched...) which is titled: 'Nothing Like Nebraska.' The quote is as follows: "What's death like?" "It's very flat. At first I thought it was like Nebraska. But it's nothing like Nebraska."

Yes. It's 0100 and I just named this chap...by most of your time zones, its 0700. And I won't be posting till at least 1500 your time...But I've been up since 0500 my time today...yesterday... If you can't tell, its starting to get fun!

* * *

**to be continued**


	16. Death, Be Not Proud

**My year mark of writing stories has come and gone, and I can't believe where that year has taken me. I've gained loads of friends because of writing, and have lost only one, something I count as lucky. (Not the losing part of it... the number part.) I've received so many reviews and cannot thank my readers enough for them. I'm appalled at the number of people that have added me to their favorite or alert list and again, cannot thank you enough. This may be my final chapter that I post. (Course, I said that to Bloo after OSAS.) Anyway. To Bloo, a humongous thank you for helping me plot throughout all of OSAS and this fic, and to you that still read :)**

**Chapter 16: Death, Be Not Proud  
**

Gene stared at his hopeless team, every single person wearing looks of defeat.

"Guv," said Chris. "We don't even have a lead."

Gene knew that it was getting difficult to search for her again. This was the third time in a little over a year, and plus, as far as they were concerned, she wasn't one of them anymore. They had tried to include her during those few weeks she had returned to work, but Gene knew that they all missed the old Alex as much as he did.

Shaz came in, her shoulders slumped. "Post, Guv," she said, handing a few letters to him. Gene looked at the top. It simply said _Hunt_ scrawled on the envelope. Ignoring the other letters, Gene opened the first one. A sheet of paper fell out. On it was written three words. _Ezekiel, sixteen, forty-one. _

Gene took it out immediately to CID. "He's bragging to us," Gene said sharply. "Shaz, do you have a Bible?"

Shaz pulled a Bible out of her drawer. Gene smiled, remembering how religious he thought she would be when he first moved down here. She had proven him wrong. Since the day he had met her, she had not quoted one Bible verse to him or tried to convert him. He didn't hear anything about her religion. He wondered if she was a guilty lapsed Catholic.

"What do you need out of it Guv?"

"Ezekiel 16:41," Gene said, looking down at the paper. Shaz began to read aloud.

"'_And they shall burn thine houses with fire, and execute judgments upon thee in the sight of many women: and I will cause thee to cease from playing the harlot, and thou also shalt give no hire any more_.'"

"I will cause thee to cease from playing the harlot?" Gene stumbled.

"They're going to stop you from being a prostitute...or in a more likely sense, Alex."

"By killing her."

Shaz nodded. "I was looking in Burns' file earlier, Guv, and I don't know if this has any relevance, but when he was in prison he was part of a religious group. They called themselves 'Stone.' There's a sect of it outside of the prison. Is it possible that Ryan may have joined it?"

Gene gave her a rare smile. "WPC Granger, remind me to promote you later." Shaz's shoulders lifted and a huge smile crossed her face as Gene addressed CID.

"Right, you lot of lazy arseholes! WPC Granger has actually been _working._ Since none of you seem to know what that is, I'll have her explain to you a little bit later! But the fact is, she brought me a lead! Now are you gonna sit around and do nothing, or are you going to try and find your former DI?"

Gene was bellowing by the end. CID looked at him sheepishly. The phone rang in the background and Gene heard Shaz answer it.

"Why do you lose hope so easily? If you looked for leads instead of sitting on your arses, then you'd be able to find one! But no, you act like a bunch of useless tossers! Now, get to work before I decide you don't belong here anymore!"

CID jumped into action as Shaz slowly put down the phone.

"Guv," she said. "There's a report of a woman screaming on Lamb's Passage. They say it sounds like she's being tortured."

Gene swore under his breath. He knew it had to be Alex.

"Come on you lot! Shaz, you too!" he yelled as he stormed out the door.

~(*)~

"Two choices, Animal," Ryan said, staring at her up on the cross. Alex was gasping for air, her whole body in tremendous pain. Every breath she took sent another wave of excruciating pain through her arms and legs.

"Choice number one, you can stay up there and die. You'll be saved, Animal. Choice two: I can let you down."

Alex coughed, confused at what he was offering. Why would he let her go?

"Of course, if I let you down, I will just find you again. It's your choice Animal. What do you want to do? Do you want to die now? Or later?"

Alex looked down at the puddle on the floor that shined red in the moonlight. How many more hours would it be until she had lost too much blood?

Ryan looked up at her. "I need a choice, Animal."

Alex inhaled a deep breath, ignoring the fire it sent through her veins. Now was the time to decide. Live? Or be free forever?

~(*)~

Ryan watched excitedly as Jim Keats leaned over the animal, their foreheads touching. He murmured something to the animal before ripping the tape from her mouth. The animal didn't stir, apparently in some sort of trance.

Jim Keats was definitely a miracle worker. He had proven to them on the night of his induction that he could save souls. He had pulled a drunkard off the street, and performed an exorcism right there.

Ryan knew that he was the perfect man to be part of this little group. He had created this group during his first stint in prison with his cell mate, a man known simply as Zero. No one knew his first name outside of the prison staff, but even they referred to him as his nickname.

When Ryan had been found not guilty of the drugs charges, he had started up another sect of it outside the prison. When he had gone back after the animal put him there, Zero had visited him. Ryan had told the man about the new sect of the group, and Zero had gone to lead it. Zero had given up his leadership role to Ryan immediately after Ryan had escaped.

Since his escape, the group had been helping him to retrieve the animal. He had one member that worked in the hospital who had alerted him that the animal had lived and told him where it was located. He had another keep a lookout for other staff when he had slit her wrists. And yet another, one of the most faithful, had helped him out earlier today, when she had given falsified documents to the nurses at the hospital to get the animal out.

Each person had been chosen carefully before being admitted. They had to prove their faith. When Keats had shown the exorcism, Ryan knew immediately that the Lord was in him. He was perfect.

The animal gave a low groan. Ryan looked at her in concern, but Brother Keats still had his hands on her face, whispering gently to her. The groan rose higher and higher in pitch and loudness until it became a scream. The animal screamed louder and louder before she finally fell silent, her body once more limp in the chair.

Keats looked up at him. "This is it," he said. "The demon's been given the choice. Untie her. Lie her on the floor."

Ryan did as he was told. The animal was barely conscious, only moaning occasionally as he lowered her roughly to the floor.

Keats knelt over her, picking her up gently in his arms. The animal's head lolled back, but Ryan heard her breathing quicken.

"Alex," Keats whispered. The animal's eyes opened widely, and she stared at Keats, terrified.

"Nooo..." she moaned softly, starting to try and push him away.

"Be still," Keats said. "Relax, Alex."

The animal's arms fell back down to her side, but she continued to squirm in his hold.

"Shh. Be still. Be still."

Ryan watched delightedly as the animal's struggle grew weaker and weaker. Suddenly, from behind him, a door crashed open.

"Don't move!" yelled an all too familiar Northern accent. "You've just pissed off three armed bastards!"

~(*)~

When Gene barged into the house, he had very nearly been overpowered. Several men and women jumped him at once, but plod had ended up breaking the windows and starting to arrest the people.

Ray and Chris had helped him comb the main level of the house, deciding to try the basement next. They snuck down the stairs quietly. As Gene reached the bottom, his stomach lurched. Ryan was standing over Jim Keats, who was holding Alex in his arms, whispering to her. Whatever he was whispering, it didn't look like Alex liked it at all. Even though her eyes were shut, she was squirming, trying to move herself out of his arms. Her face was bloodless, her cheekbones sticking out of her cheeks which seemed even more hollow than they had before. Gene drew his gun, motion for Chris and Ray to move to the sides of the room.

"Don't move!" he yelled. "You've just pissed off three armed bastards!"

Both men froze, staring towards the stairs. Keats looked down at Alex desperately before drawing a gun of his own and putting it to her head.

"Put the guns down, Gents," Keats said laughingly. "Unless you want her to get shot and never ever come back..."

Gene looked towards Chris and Ray. Could Keats be bluffing about this? Before he could make up his mind, he heard the sound of gunfire.

Ryan made a run for it as the gun went off. Desperate, not knowing if it was Alex that was shot or not, Gene aimed his gun and fired quickly, running towards the centre of the room. Keats had Alex propped up on his knees. Her head was hanging, her hair obscuring any view of her face. Keats' head was on her shoulder. It was only then that he noticed the blood blossoming on her chest.

An overwhelming panic filled Gene.

_It's not her blood, _he thought. _It's Keats'. It has to be his. Please, God, don't let it be hers._

He pushed Keats off of her, looking at the wound on his head. Chris must have hit him from the side. The entry wound was clearly seen on the right side of his head, but the left half of his face was almost gone.

That had to be the blood on her shirt. It had to be. He laid Alex onto the floor, her head lolling around helplessly.

It was then that he saw the bullet hole on her chest. His stomach sunk.

"Alex," he whispered, using one hand to hold pressure on her chest while the other stroked her hair gently. He knew that an ambulance would be arriving soon. "Bolly."

Her eyes flickered open, staring at him hard. "Gene," she finally breathed.

"Bolly. You're gonna be fine. Just hang on."

"I forgive you," she whispered painfully. "You were right."

"No, I wasn't!" he said desperately. "You shouldn't have gone there! I was an arse Bolls. A complete twat."

She just gave a grimace that he thought might have been a smile. "I love you Gene."

"No! Bolly, don't you dare say goodbye to me," he ordered. "You are not going anywhere."

She coughed. "Say it back."

"I'll tell you in hospital."

"Say it now." Her voice was growing weaker with each syllable.

"No, Alex..."

"Gene," she whispered, cutting him off.

"I love you Alex."

Her face lit up in a smile and for a moment, through the emaciated face, he could see his old Alex. In that moment, her face glowed and her eyes shone. A touch of defiance crept on her features.

"One short sleepe past," she muttered. "Wee wake eternally. And death shall be no more, death thou shall die."

Her eyes flickered shut and her breathing became more erratic. "Alex," Gene said, trying to rouse her. "Alex!"

He became aware of laughing behind him. It was pained but gleeful. "I did it!" Ryan cried. "I have saved the whore! My mission is complete. The Lord has decided to take me home. I will have a feast waiting for me!"

Burns continued to laugh until pained coughing overwhelmed him and he fell into unconsciousness.

Gene turned back to Alex, her face more pale than he could have imagined.

"Bolly," he said quietly, before he noticed that she wasn't breathing.

"NO! Alex, don't you dare!"

"Sir. Sir, please step away." Gene ignored them, continuing to try uselessly to resuscitate her. He felt hands pulling him away, but he fought them until more hands joined in and kept him at a safe distance. He stopped struggling as the sheet fell over her face, condemning her to the fate he had tried for so long to prevent.

Alex was dead. The past year, the struggle to get her better, it was all for nothing. It was over.

~(*)~

_She saw the tears run down Gene's face as he leaned over her, trying to bring her back to life. She was filled with sorrow. When Keats had shot her, she had felt it clip her aorta. She knew in that moment that no ambulance crew would be able to get there in time. Even if it had not been such a severe injury, her starved form would not have been able to handle it. _

_It was all her fault that she had left Gene behind. If she could have just eaten, then this may not have happened._

_The room faded from beneath her, as did the sounds of chaos and Gene's pained demands for her to stay with him. _

_She was in the middle of a white room now, closely resembling a hospital, except the only thing in it were the souls of the dead._

_There was no talking amongst the group of people, all seeming to be waiting expectantly for something or someone. Alex realised what they were waiting for as someone entered the room, approached a soul, and led them away. One by one, the original group was led away as more people appeared to take their place. Alex saw Keats being led away, Burns following soon after._

_A figure approached the room, a young woman with a birthmark on her cheek and bright blue eyes. _

"_It's time to go Mum."_

_Molly led her down a corridor where several other people were gathered. As she took more in, she realised she knew everyone in the room._

_Her father and mother smiled at her happily, as did Evan and Molly. There seemed to be no controversy between her father or her godfather. _

_Molly looked to Evan._

"_Not yet, Scrap," Evan said softly. "We're waiting for one more."_

"_But this is the family. You, me, mum, and my grandparents."_

"_One more is coming Molls," said Caroline. "In fact..."_

_Alex turned as someone else was led into the room. It was a blonde man, tall and proud, in a black coat and wearing leather driving gloves. _

"_Gene," she whispered, uncertain. This man was several years younger and much thinner than her lion, his face unlined, his eyes not brooding._

"_Bolls," he said, a wide grin crossing his face before becoming solemn. "I was killed. The bastard shot me."_

"_What bastard?"_

"_One of the people in Burn's little group. Went by Zero or summat like that. Escaped us, and fancied himself to be a sniper."_

"_Oh Gene," she said, forgetting her family around her as she wrapped her arms around him._

"_You look great, by the way," he whispered._

_Alex looked down at her body, realising that she was dressed in what had been her favourite outfit. Her body was no longer starved in appearance, and no scars showed on her skin. All evidence of Ryan Burns had been washed away._

_They were brought back by Tim Price clearing his throat. _

"_It's time to move on," he said happily._

_As Gene laced his hand through hers, Alex smiled. _

_She was where she wanted to be. She was with her family, finally together. Forever._

_

* * *

A/N:_ The Holy Sonnet that Alex quoted from was written by John Donne in the 17th Century. The whole poem reads like this:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee  
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,  
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,  
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.  
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,  
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,  
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,  
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.  
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,  
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,  
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,  
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?  
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,  
And death shall be no more, death, thou shalt die.

* * *

**RantandRumour  
**


End file.
